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May 14, 2024

Level Up: Trusting God on Every Level

Level Up: Trusting God on Every Level
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Season 3
When life threw her curveballs, Carla Hope Barnum, known to all as Hope, caught each one with an incredible display of faith and resilience. In our latest episode, we capture Hope's heartwarming journey through the trials of nursing school and the tumultuous landscape of healthcare during the COVID-19 crisis. As a mother and a nurse, she's lived the front lines of compassion in action, offering us a glimpse into a world where professional challenges and personal convictions collide—reminding us that even amidst chaos, growth and fulfillment are always within reach.

The path to steadfast belief is often paved with struggle, and Hope's narrative is no exception. From the sting of legal battles to the weight of health scares, she shares how these experiences carved out a deeper, more profound trust in a higher power. Whether it's standing firm in her convictions during a routine medical appointment or wrestling with financial unrest, Hope's testament to the power of faith offers a profound perspective on the transformative impact of personal testimony. Her stories, rich with emotion and authenticity, challenge us to see the divine hand at work in our own lives.

As we wrap up this episode, we reflect on what it truly means to be guided by grace. Hope unveils the moments of divine protection that have marked her journey, how rejecting ill-fitting labels led her toward an identity rooted in spiritual conviction, and the joy in impacting others' lives through her service. With anecdotes that will make you chuckle and insights that will move you, Hope's candid sharing is a timely reminder that grace abounds, protection is present, and our journey through life's maze is never without purpose.

Support the Show.

Thank you for tuning in to another transformative episode of the Experiencing Amazing Transformation Podcast! If you've enjoyed the insights and inspiring stories shared today, we kindly ask for your support. Please consider subscribing to eat-podcast.org to stay updated on our latest episodes. Connect with us on all our social media platforms to join our vibrant community and receive even more valuable content. Don't forget to share this podcast with others who might benefit from the amazing transformations we explore together. Let's spread the positivity and growth together! Help us Transform lives with your giving click the links below!

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Chapters

00:39 - Amazing Transformation Through Faith and Surrender

10:15 - Journey of Faith and Perseverance

22:35 - Faith and Healing

28:35 - Lesson in Love and Blessings

35:46 - God's Grace and Protection

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:39.895 --> 00:00:48.819
Welcome back, dear listeners, to another electrifying chapter of Experiencing Amazing Transformation podcast.

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We're thrilled to have you join us as we embark on a brand new adventure through the realms of personal growth, extraordinary stories and profound insight.

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Get ready to be captivated by the extraordinary journeys of individuals who have undergone remarkable transformations, defying odds and pushing the boundaries of what's possible.

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So buckle up and prepare to be inspired as we delve into exhilarating world of self-discovery and witness the power of change unfold before our very eyes.

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So welcome back to experiencing amazing transformations, where the extraordinary becomes reality.

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Reality.

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Carla Hope Barnum and I call her Hope, because God literally changed her name to Hope, because this world needs hope.

00:01:53.948 --> 00:02:00.022
Join me as she talks about her powerful journey as a woman walking with God in his authority.

00:02:00.022 --> 00:02:04.165
She shares her profound experience of faith and surrendering to God.

00:02:04.165 --> 00:02:05.686
She shares her profound experience of faith and surrendering to God.

00:02:05.686 --> 00:02:15.657
So join me as Hope inspires us with her unwavering love for God, showing us that through yielding, you're surrendering your life over to God.

00:02:15.657 --> 00:02:33.171
No matter what the circumstances may look like or the situation may be, god is still amazing.

00:02:33.171 --> 00:02:41.272
So, please, please, sit and enjoy her profound wisdom and insight as she shows her love for our God Almighty, tell us a little bit about yourself and how you started your journey.

00:02:42.460 --> 00:02:55.705
So, carla Hope Barham, after I got saved everyone and I now agree like I'm going to go with hope, because the world needs hope and it needs someone that will actually listen and someone that cares.

00:02:55.705 --> 00:02:58.712
You know when someone's being fake or when someone's being real.

00:02:59.080 --> 00:02:59.420
Yeah.

00:02:59.621 --> 00:03:03.647
So I love being a nurse and I see now the process.

00:03:03.647 --> 00:03:06.953
I'm feisty and I know God loves feisty.

00:03:06.953 --> 00:03:11.276
So the journey with the nursing school and I wish it would have been a little different.

00:03:11.276 --> 00:03:14.026
But I'm not in control of it, which I also understand now.

00:03:14.026 --> 00:03:19.544
It was tough at first, being after graduating nursing school and getting through that dang test.

00:03:19.544 --> 00:03:20.707
I don't do tests well.

00:03:20.707 --> 00:03:21.871
It's a whole different thing.

00:03:21.871 --> 00:03:24.403
The anxiety level is just out of this world.

00:03:24.403 --> 00:03:41.700
But getting into it, thinking that I was doing everything and I am over the top where I want to have certain things done, Knowing also that also comes from how my parents raised us, where if you're going to do something you're going to do it right, it's going to be to the best of your ability.

00:03:41.700 --> 00:03:44.729
No halfway jobs, that's the cleanest way.

00:03:44.750 --> 00:03:46.325
Thank you, Jesus, on that one yes.

00:03:50.341 --> 00:03:58.801
See, I know, you know what I want to say and I'm like, oh, I told you, jesus pleased me with my mouth, so I'm trying to be in that sanctified mode.

00:03:59.461 --> 00:04:05.004
Well, we know, we know we know.

00:04:06.006 --> 00:04:07.667
So just having everything.

00:04:07.667 --> 00:04:13.789
And also I understand why moms make the best nurses, because they're already used to multitasking.

00:04:13.789 --> 00:04:15.290
You have to.

00:04:15.290 --> 00:04:19.252
I didn't have kids so it was harder but I did it.

00:04:19.252 --> 00:04:25.295
But going back and charting as I go, I can get more done and I got so much.

00:04:25.295 --> 00:04:35.612
What they want you to do is just mind boggling and then if you know that something's going wrong with somebody, then you have to prove and you have to know what you're talking about with the doctors.

00:04:35.612 --> 00:04:40.891
So having all of that, doing all of this like I'm telling you I called, nurses are God's angels.

00:04:41.160 --> 00:04:46.180
Yes, I agree A thousand percent Like.

00:04:46.201 --> 00:04:47.384
You have to know what you're talking about.

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You have to know what you're doing because if you mess up they could cost a lot of problems.

00:04:50.540 --> 00:04:52.425
So I loved it.

00:04:52.425 --> 00:04:57.644
And the charge nurses if you don't have a good charge nurse, honey, you just you lost.

00:04:57.644 --> 00:05:01.156
Brittany Edwards is my mom, as I call them.

00:05:01.156 --> 00:05:05.019
My mom is, and even though she was younger than I am, the girl is fabulous.

00:05:05.019 --> 00:05:11.233
You got codes going on and she's just like, calmly, talking to you, like this, getting everything done.

00:05:11.233 --> 00:05:17.244
I mean it's like she's octopus hands all over, she's doing everything, just calm, and you have to have that like the girl.

00:05:17.244 --> 00:05:18.928
Oh, she's amazing.

00:05:19.891 --> 00:05:36.584
The hardest time that I had was with the patients that had cancer or the patients that I couldn't get too fast enough that you could tell were in a lot of pain, and I remember getting really angry at God about all of that and I didn't understand, like the ones that you know that were not that bad off, that ran you into the ground.

00:05:36.584 --> 00:05:51.072
And then you have the sweetest people where you wanted to give your heart to and you couldn't get to them and it was so, so hard but still giving it everything you had and seeing how beautifully he works everything together is another thing that rocks my socks off.

00:05:51.072 --> 00:05:53.408
But everything happens for a reason.

00:05:53.408 --> 00:05:59.348
And then you see, knowing all of that, and then after studying the Bible, you look at the impact that Jesus had.

00:05:59.348 --> 00:06:01.134
Look at what he went through.

00:06:01.134 --> 00:06:08.343
Everything that I went through with COVID was something that just rocked everyone's world.

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It rocked the entire universe here.

00:06:10.709 --> 00:06:12.721
But during that time I was a new mom.

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I had no idea what was going on.

00:06:14.324 --> 00:06:21.045
I love my unit over there at Willis-Knighton Rehab and we had strokes and spinal cord patients.

00:06:21.045 --> 00:06:23.630
A lot of them did not communicate.

00:06:23.630 --> 00:06:25.992
You had to use other ways of speaking, like the brain injury.

00:06:25.992 --> 00:06:26.230
Some of them did not communicate.

00:06:26.230 --> 00:06:26.785
You had to use other ways of speaking.

00:06:26.785 --> 00:06:27.947
Some like the brain injury.

00:06:27.947 --> 00:06:33.004
Some of them would just be able to say yes or yes, or if someone couldn't even talk.

00:06:33.564 --> 00:06:45.781
So it's like you're literally figuring everything out, making sure that you're meeting their needs and then going home to an infant and trying to waking up at four, 30 in the morning, breast pumping and girl, I made mom cut them out.

00:06:45.781 --> 00:06:50.552
Didn't all look like I'm trying to get ready, pump, get him ready, take him to daycare.

00:06:50.552 --> 00:06:58.122
Doing all of this I broke straight up, broke and the strain then went into the relationship with his father and I.

00:06:58.122 --> 00:07:00.166
And then that's COVID.

00:07:00.166 --> 00:07:02.812
That's whenever, all of that, and I know why.

00:07:02.812 --> 00:07:06.949
Now it says in there I did not know this before not to go to court.

00:07:06.949 --> 00:07:09.904
It's ugly, it gets real ugly and real mean.

00:07:10.526 --> 00:07:10.988
It does.

00:07:11.259 --> 00:07:13.649
And it breaks you, like to a whole nother level.

00:07:13.649 --> 00:07:23.072
So whenever you're finally done with that and you feel empty and broke and you have no idea, it's like you wake up in a haze and you don't know where to go.

00:07:23.072 --> 00:07:29.911
That's whenever God got me and I remember I was laying on my sofa crying my head off.

00:07:29.911 --> 00:07:31.887
I couldn't make sense of anything.

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It was like I was in a nightmare that I couldn't wake up from and I woke up saying God is love.

00:07:38.249 --> 00:07:41.108
And I know nobody was there, it was just me.

00:07:41.108 --> 00:07:51.180
He saved me at that moment and then I remember telling him I was like God, I can't go.

00:07:51.180 --> 00:07:52.182
I mean, you know, I don't know the process.

00:07:52.182 --> 00:07:53.427
Yeah, yeah, I was raised in a very strict Southern Baptist home.

00:07:53.427 --> 00:07:55.913
I knew God and my parents told me it was time to get baptized, but I wasn't.

00:07:55.913 --> 00:07:58.223
Truly, I didn't understand it.

00:07:58.504 --> 00:08:00.045
The relationship wasn't there.

00:08:00.065 --> 00:08:02.629
I didn't understand just how stupid I was being.

00:08:02.629 --> 00:08:08.923
And it was just he woke, that's the real definition of woke.

00:08:08.944 --> 00:08:10.007
That's the only thing I can say.

00:08:10.267 --> 00:08:19.591
Yes, he just didn't it's not like a gentle hey, well, he was yeah, but once you get it it's like girl, you better wake up, yeah.

00:08:19.591 --> 00:08:24.785
So that moment everything changed, and I know that I was bitter because I did want to go to work.

00:08:24.785 --> 00:08:34.812
But now it was different, because my son's father is a physician and we can't work at the same hospital, which didn't make any sense, because you aren't married anymore.

00:08:34.812 --> 00:08:36.865
Well, we weren't married to begin with.

00:08:36.865 --> 00:08:38.951
Yes, I know it was out of God's will.

00:08:38.951 --> 00:08:40.546
I already know the girl's whole story.

00:08:41.422 --> 00:08:43.950
So you still can't work at the same hospital.

00:08:45.802 --> 00:09:02.429
This is what I was told, okay, which actually is really weird, because you're not supposed to have a relationship with a patient, but hey, whatever, when you look at it on a worldly level, there's a whole bunch of jacked up stuff there, but whenever you look at it on God's level, it's all part of God's plan.

00:09:02.450 --> 00:09:02.811
You're right, see.

00:09:02.811 --> 00:09:03.393
You got to separate the two.

00:09:03.393 --> 00:09:04.176
Whenever you look at it on God's, level.

00:09:04.196 --> 00:09:04.738
It's all part of God's plan.

00:09:04.738 --> 00:09:05.220
You're right, that's it.

00:09:05.220 --> 00:09:06.986
You got to separate.

00:09:06.986 --> 00:09:10.788
You got to separate the two Because I was angry and I was real bitter.

00:09:10.788 --> 00:09:19.148
Some of that bitterness tried to come back up today and I was like, if I need to go cannonball into some water again, and I was into uh-uh, you got to shake it off, Good.

00:09:19.148 --> 00:09:28.400
Because, I got to look at it His, his, he, his story.

00:09:28.400 --> 00:09:31.285
That's right, because all of it is going to come together, and it's not by our love, because our love fails.

00:09:31.306 --> 00:09:32.006
His love never fails.

00:09:32.006 --> 00:09:33.470
His love is pure.

00:09:33.470 --> 00:09:36.441
That's why 1 Corinthians 13, love.

00:09:36.441 --> 00:09:38.664
His love is patient, his love is kind.

00:09:39.206 --> 00:09:44.754
Yes, it is, I mean it's, it's so beautiful where it just it will literally make you cry.

00:09:44.754 --> 00:09:46.197
So ever since then I told him I was like's oh, it just it's so beautiful where it just it will literally make you cry.

00:09:46.197 --> 00:09:51.341
So ever since then I told him I was like God, I don't know if you're trying to take me, but I can't go yet.

00:09:51.341 --> 00:09:54.230
I got to bring my family, so I don't know if that was a bad thing.

00:09:54.230 --> 00:10:13.506
I mean, I didn't like I said, I didn't know how it worked and it seemed like I was like I'm in a movie almost, because everything that I say other people are saying and I'm saying it in the privacy of my own home.

00:10:13.506 --> 00:10:15.467
I don't understand it, but I'm like all right, god we're gonna roll with this.

00:10:15.370 --> 00:10:16.769
I mean, at first I got really angry and I was like what's going on.

00:10:16.673 --> 00:10:20.826
I mean, you know, we all had that real yes, if you say that you're a Christian and you don't cry, something's wrong, you're lying you're lying, that's it.

00:10:20.865 --> 00:10:21.687
You're just lying.

00:10:21.687 --> 00:10:23.605
You try to make yourself look good.

00:10:23.605 --> 00:10:25.479
We cry, we get upset.

00:10:25.479 --> 00:10:31.211
He just tells us not to stay there right, you gotta pick yourself up.

00:10:31.272 --> 00:10:31.712
That's it.

00:10:31.712 --> 00:10:33.081
I mean, look at what paul did.

00:10:33.081 --> 00:10:39.240
Yeah, I know got knocked off of a donkey, but we're blind.

00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:42.869
Yes, yes he sure did.

00:10:42.869 --> 00:10:43.831
You know he was mad.

00:10:43.831 --> 00:10:47.379
Come on, you got stoned.

00:10:47.379 --> 00:10:54.096
And here I am just be like oh it's broken girl.

00:10:54.096 --> 00:10:55.077
Did you get thrown off a cliff?

00:10:55.077 --> 00:10:56.042
Did you get stoned did?

00:10:56.062 --> 00:11:01.645
you get bit by a snake and had to just trust them, then't we?

00:11:01.645 --> 00:11:03.087
No, kim, keep going.

00:11:05.971 --> 00:11:11.903
Yes, it makes our stuff look petty, oh I know it is and you gotta look at it that way.

00:11:11.903 --> 00:11:13.046
You have to.

00:11:13.046 --> 00:11:25.493
So ever since then I was like okay, and it was so funny because it's one thing after another kept happening and whoo well, like father, I can't take much more of this.

00:11:25.493 --> 00:11:26.455
I don't understand.

00:11:26.455 --> 00:11:35.407
It was like the court going through that and then my lawyer which this was the weirdest thing was around Christmas and it was Ooh, it got real ugly.

00:11:35.407 --> 00:11:47.582
My lawyer told me that I had to find another one, I had to seek other counsel, but then he started working with my son's father's lawyer counsel.

00:11:47.722 --> 00:11:51.960
But then he started working with my son's father's lawyer and I was like what?

00:11:56.159 --> 00:11:56.663
This is so much craziness.

00:11:56.663 --> 00:11:57.346
You got jokes y'all.

00:11:57.346 --> 00:11:57.586
Yes, he does.

00:11:57.586 --> 00:12:01.322
And then I got another letter in saying like oh well, here's your six month follow-up for to make sure that your breast cancer runs in the family.

00:12:01.322 --> 00:12:06.004
So I had to check up like two months after that and this is like back-to-back that is coming in the mail.

00:12:06.004 --> 00:12:13.990
And then I closed out a credit card Somehow, that one reopened and it just so much if I couldn't even make this up.

00:12:13.990 --> 00:12:19.666
But it was within like a day or a week right after each other when I tell you your girl was a mess.

00:12:19.666 --> 00:12:22.110
I could have worked off of one of the KISS members.

00:12:22.110 --> 00:12:24.634
Like my mascara was all over my face.

00:12:24.714 --> 00:12:27.105
It was brutal, but I still worked.

00:12:27.105 --> 00:12:34.340
I was giving scripture to them and even I didn't get another lawyer because I was like, no, if Jesus didn't have a lawyer, Jesus, I need you to be my lawyer.

00:12:34.340 --> 00:12:51.542
And after talking to another girl, oh, that's a story, Baby, that is a story, Stacey Waldron.

00:12:51.542 --> 00:12:53.668
I need to give you her contact because she rocked my world and she's now an ordained minister.

00:12:53.668 --> 00:12:54.289
Oh, she rocked my socks off.

00:12:54.289 --> 00:12:54.812
She's fabulous, Her story.

00:12:54.812 --> 00:12:56.537
Well, the pathway where my story was going was in a close run where hers was.

00:12:56.537 --> 00:12:56.898
Wow, Her testimony.

00:12:56.898 --> 00:13:03.394
I mean, get your Kleenexes ready because it's just brutal, but I don't want to give too much glory, like I said, to the evil part, that's right.

00:13:03.436 --> 00:13:04.337
Because it happened.

00:13:04.337 --> 00:13:11.645
God got me through it and now God's going to get me to a higher level and I'm going to dance around that part and just be like you can't bring me down.

00:13:11.645 --> 00:13:12.548
Daddy's got me.

00:13:12.548 --> 00:13:17.644
But I think my first test after I got saved was whenever I went in for my checkup.

00:13:17.644 --> 00:13:23.991
When you say that you can witness to somebody bare chested, this is how nervous I was.

00:13:23.991 --> 00:13:27.216
They tell you to go in there and you know it's your breast.

00:13:27.216 --> 00:13:29.005
They're not examining anything else.

00:13:29.005 --> 00:13:30.871
But I was so nervous I took everything off.

00:13:30.871 --> 00:13:31.895
No, you didn't my robe on.

00:13:31.895 --> 00:13:33.731
I was like I don't know.

00:13:33.731 --> 00:13:41.264
I mean I have my underwear on, but it's so nice the waiting room I don't know if you've ever it is go to To the Shepard one.

00:13:41.264 --> 00:13:43.225
Yes, it is.

00:13:43.285 --> 00:13:45.307
It'll make you take everything off of your underwear.

00:13:45.307 --> 00:13:49.571
It's a nice waiting room and the ladies are looking so good.

00:13:49.770 --> 00:13:57.917
And then I'll see I'm like, wait a minute, I haven't got the pants on, so I start texting some of my nurse friends.

00:13:57.917 --> 00:13:58.557
I'm like y'all.

00:13:58.557 --> 00:14:04.590
They're like if you go in for a breast exam and they ask you to take your pants off, you need to run out of there.

00:14:04.590 --> 00:14:06.413
I couldn't stop.

00:14:06.413 --> 00:14:10.389
So of course I had to share it with the nurse that was in there.

00:14:10.389 --> 00:14:14.548
I mean, we just had a good old giggle, but I had my little handouts too and I gave it to him.

00:14:14.548 --> 00:14:19.272
I was like I think this is God's way of testing me to see if I'm going to claim his name in here.

00:14:19.272 --> 00:14:20.743
I was like, so he saved me, I hope.

00:14:20.743 --> 00:14:21.605
Do you know who he is?

00:14:21.605 --> 00:14:22.285
Because let me tell you.

00:14:22.285 --> 00:14:24.429
And then I'm just like, of course we do.

00:14:24.429 --> 00:14:25.613
This is amazing.

00:14:25.613 --> 00:14:30.395
And she goes look at you, witness him with your shirt off, and I'm like I love her.

00:14:30.395 --> 00:14:35.586
I mean, of course it's just like one of them, but I'm like look at this guy.

00:14:36.022 --> 00:14:36.999
I'm sporting you, sir.

00:14:36.999 --> 00:14:48.971
So I mean, if you say you can witness a guy with a boob hangout, I think you're doing pretty good I think so too I think now that's a story that's a real witness.

00:14:48.971 --> 00:14:55.264
I mean so the doctor's scanning too, and I mean, of course it's got to be an attractive doctor.

00:14:55.264 --> 00:14:57.614
I'm like, all right, guys, it's funny.

00:14:57.614 --> 00:14:58.456
So I'm like, oh air.

00:14:58.456 --> 00:15:00.043
I'm like okay, reaching my little thing.

00:15:00.043 --> 00:15:01.947
I'm like, well, he's doing his little sound like.

00:15:02.028 --> 00:15:05.124
I don't know if you're saved or not, but i'm'm going to need it.

00:15:05.164 --> 00:15:09.113
He was just saying oh, my little heat on it said leave your mark.

00:15:09.113 --> 00:15:11.615
I'm like well God, we definitely left a mark in that blazer.

00:15:11.615 --> 00:15:17.048
Okay, so it's been nonstop ever since then.

00:15:17.048 --> 00:15:21.062
Oh, wow, yeah, so I mean gas stations.

00:15:21.062 --> 00:15:21.865
I started with some.

00:15:21.865 --> 00:15:26.605
Let's see, my son got upset because I used to soldier me and I'm like baby, are you kidding me?

00:15:26.605 --> 00:15:27.965
We're God's warriors.

00:15:27.965 --> 00:15:29.525
Put the armor of God on here.

00:15:29.525 --> 00:15:31.245
This is a message.

00:15:31.245 --> 00:15:32.509
Sent that one out.

00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:34.183
Then I used dollar bills.

00:15:34.183 --> 00:15:36.211
Yeah, I don't know, I know that.

00:15:36.211 --> 00:15:39.524
I know God knows how many, because I know he was the girls that I worked with.

00:15:39.524 --> 00:15:45.394
My old manager was like God is not telling you to stamp and put his scripture on these dollar bills.

00:15:45.394 --> 00:15:46.625
You need to keep these dollar bills.

00:15:46.625 --> 00:15:47.427
You don't got a job.

00:15:47.427 --> 00:15:49.687
And I'm like, watch what he does with these dollar bills.

00:15:49.687 --> 00:15:58.349
When I put a dollar bill in my scripture in there and I just left one at the nurse's station Before you knew it, all eight of them are talking about it.

00:15:58.960 --> 00:16:01.984
I'm like that's God, I'll leave you one and it spreads.

00:16:01.984 --> 00:16:04.870
So I can't even imagine what he's doing with all this.

00:16:04.870 --> 00:16:05.753
I mean, just think about it.

00:16:05.753 --> 00:16:10.730
If you give it to one person, how many people are in that one person's family, you never know.

00:16:10.730 --> 00:16:16.070
And if they don't have a Bible, if they don't go to church, and that's the one thing that they have, I have that one scripture.

00:16:16.070 --> 00:16:16.692
That's right.

00:16:16.692 --> 00:16:19.881
But I'm not good with electronics, I'm not even going.

00:16:19.881 --> 00:16:22.524
I don't know about this cloud either, jesus.

00:16:22.524 --> 00:16:23.826
I tried to upload some stuff.

00:16:23.826 --> 00:16:24.546
I don't know where it is.

00:16:24.546 --> 00:16:25.908
It's floating around somewhere in a cloud.

00:16:25.908 --> 00:16:27.129
Okay, and it's always been.

00:16:27.129 --> 00:16:29.410
It's been like that with nurses my nursing stuff too.

00:16:29.410 --> 00:16:34.134
I'm sitting in the middle of the parking lot and they would laugh at me and I'm like I did my work y'all.

00:16:34.434 --> 00:16:36.956
Look, look, half of it is just two sentences.

00:16:36.956 --> 00:16:39.683
It's on there.

00:16:39.683 --> 00:16:41.028
What's up?

00:16:41.028 --> 00:16:41.528
You hear me?

00:16:41.528 --> 00:16:56.767
Jesus is gonna come out on my cloud with all my missing work and my scriptures so here it is it's on this cloud test here you go thank you, jesus, whatever this dang cloud is.

00:16:56.767 --> 00:17:00.640
Oh wow, I wish I could show you my pictures, but I tried to upload them and store it.

00:17:00.640 --> 00:17:03.005
Now, girl, I don't know, it's somewhere up there, god knows, so I'll have to remake them and store it Nah girl.

00:17:03.025 --> 00:17:06.574
I don't know, it's somewhere up there, god knows, so I'll have to remake them and be like here you go.

00:17:07.336 --> 00:17:07.917
Here's a new one.

00:17:07.917 --> 00:17:11.900
So what made you do the dollar bills Like?

00:17:11.900 --> 00:17:14.648
Was it just an act of obedience?

00:17:15.049 --> 00:17:17.526
Okay, so Gabe kept asking me.

00:17:17.526 --> 00:17:20.842
He didn't understand Mama, you got dunked in the bathtub.

00:17:20.842 --> 00:17:21.563
What did that mean?

00:17:21.563 --> 00:17:23.464
And I was like okay, baby, let me show you.

00:17:23.464 --> 00:17:25.086
I said do you see this dollar bill?

00:17:25.086 --> 00:17:29.330
And I mean the dollar bill, we just got to get it dirty, okay, and it was four.

00:17:29.330 --> 00:17:31.153
And so I was trying to explain to him.

00:17:31.153 --> 00:17:32.714
I am not a school teacher.

00:17:32.714 --> 00:17:34.076
I did the best that I could.

00:17:34.076 --> 00:17:41.686
Baby, when I tell you, he looked more confused after I got through with it.

00:17:41.686 --> 00:17:42.769
I was like no, mama, I broke it.

00:17:42.769 --> 00:17:45.453
I showed him the Ten Commandments and we're going over them.

00:17:45.453 --> 00:17:48.869
And I said now, unfortunately, your mama has broke literally every single one of these.

00:17:48.869 --> 00:17:53.087
And he goes, mama, and the one he chose to focus on was lying.

00:17:53.087 --> 00:17:56.746
So I'm like I'm good with that one, baby, just focus on that one.

00:17:56.766 --> 00:17:58.320
Okay, that's only that last one.

00:17:59.021 --> 00:18:00.803
So he was.

00:18:00.803 --> 00:18:02.785
He was like well, if you lie, I'm going to tell God I go.

00:18:02.785 --> 00:18:03.945
He already knows.

00:18:03.945 --> 00:18:07.209
He said well, I'm not going to, I'm going to tell him five times I go.

00:18:07.209 --> 00:18:08.410
Will you tell him five times?

00:18:08.410 --> 00:18:09.611
He already knows.

00:18:09.611 --> 00:18:12.073
Right, as soon as I lie, he already knows.

00:18:12.073 --> 00:18:12.834
So I tell him.

00:18:12.854 --> 00:18:16.757
I was like this represents the sin in our life All the dirt, everything on this dollar bill.

00:18:16.757 --> 00:18:29.101
So we get the, a wire brush, which I may need to get a loofah or something.

00:18:29.101 --> 00:18:30.182
Get some of that extra off.

00:18:30.182 --> 00:18:34.839
So I washed it and I was like okay, to baptize, this is what God does.

00:18:34.839 --> 00:18:43.851
He washes all this dirt off of us and then when he washes it, he dips us down and we're raised in the likeness of the father and the son and the holy spirit and baptized.

00:18:43.851 --> 00:18:46.834
When we come up I was like we're made new and now we're sealed.

00:18:46.834 --> 00:18:53.441
And that's where I got the stamp of the heart and I put it on the dollar bill because he gives us a new heart and we're in the lamb's book of life.

00:18:53.441 --> 00:18:54.944
So that's where that came from.

00:18:54.944 --> 00:18:58.060
But his facial expression he just looked at me like he was like what do you mean?

00:18:58.060 --> 00:18:58.622
You're made new?

00:18:58.622 --> 00:19:06.403
I was like you'll understand, he's going to word of god academy now, so I'm like for the james, here you go, sir there you go help a girl out.

00:19:06.482 --> 00:19:11.040
I mean, that's it I mean it is so funny because I'm teaching him some of the words.

00:19:11.040 --> 00:19:18.502
If y'all get a crazy little white boy that tries to put his fingers in your ears and spit on your tongue, I'm sorry.

00:19:18.502 --> 00:19:19.545
That is my son.

00:19:19.545 --> 00:19:21.328
His name is gabriel he's.

00:19:21.328 --> 00:19:24.282
I went over how jesus healed the deaf and the mute.

00:19:24.282 --> 00:19:26.170
He's trying to heal everyone, baby.

00:19:26.170 --> 00:19:27.064
He's going around.

00:19:27.064 --> 00:19:30.419
I don't know what God's got in store for that baby, but it's going to be you.

00:19:33.566 --> 00:19:34.247
He's trying to heal.

00:19:34.247 --> 00:19:45.913
He is, yes, his dad's a physician, I'm a nurse, his dad is brilliant and I know it's God that should have turned out so ugly and so messy and it turned out better than I could ever imagine.

00:19:45.913 --> 00:19:47.306
And I know he's not done.

00:19:47.306 --> 00:19:52.490
But I mean, and for the longest time I thought that we were going to get back together, but it's not.

00:19:52.490 --> 00:19:55.586
I'm like you know what it's going to be a blessing either way it goes.

00:19:55.586 --> 00:19:56.209
That's right.

00:19:56.209 --> 00:19:57.546
So we just go roll with it.

00:19:57.740 --> 00:20:00.905
And then I don't know what's going to happen with Brady and his situation.

00:20:00.905 --> 00:20:02.388
But I know God, I'm like God.

00:20:02.388 --> 00:20:07.325
I want somebody to have a happy ending here and you know it's going to be beautiful.

00:20:07.325 --> 00:20:08.067
I don't know what it is.

00:20:08.067 --> 00:20:10.383
And then with my other girl, her story's going right.

00:20:10.383 --> 00:20:11.346
She's really going.

00:20:11.346 --> 00:20:12.490
She's going to make you laugh too.

00:20:12.490 --> 00:20:15.506
She got one arm, but the girl, she's one cooking mama.

00:20:15.506 --> 00:20:16.628
She's hilarious.

00:20:17.330 --> 00:20:22.103
But I mean, it's just the way that God has brought different people in our lives and it's.

00:20:22.103 --> 00:20:23.743
I don't care what your yes does.

00:20:23.743 --> 00:20:25.305
And there was one person that I know.

00:20:25.305 --> 00:20:47.621
I know you can just feel with the spirit and the glory of God.

00:20:47.621 --> 00:20:48.502
Come on you.

00:20:48.502 --> 00:20:59.392
I was crying, he was crying the goosebumps that both of us had, and you could just see him shaking and I'm like I was so excited because I know it was him.

00:20:59.392 --> 00:21:05.393
I had nothing to do with it, I just got to be a part of it and it's the most amazing thing.

00:21:05.393 --> 00:21:11.329
I mean it's better than anything you could ever experience in the world and I want to make sure that people have this.

00:21:11.329 --> 00:21:12.281
So that's, I mean.

00:21:12.281 --> 00:21:14.328
You see me like a crazy girl.

00:21:14.901 --> 00:21:15.964
She's going after somebody.

00:21:15.964 --> 00:21:18.446
Sure am, jesus left the 99 to come get me.

00:21:18.446 --> 00:21:19.842
So I got to do my part.

00:21:19.842 --> 00:21:26.854
If I get, I mean, like that turtle that got ran over today, you can take this body, but, baby, I belong to him, I know where I'm going.

00:21:26.854 --> 00:21:33.804
I'll be looking down, being like hey, daddy, can I go bother them, just so they know.

00:21:33.804 --> 00:21:42.280
Or, if he's not done, be like okay, if it was evil, they killed me, make me bigger, make me stronger and send me back down there, put me in coach, I'm ready to play.

00:21:42.280 --> 00:21:43.503
So that's the way I'm looking at it.

00:21:43.503 --> 00:21:50.970
I told him I mean, if you need to blow me I think I told you this the first time I met you I'm like you need to blow me up, like, do it big, make it pretty, that's it.

00:21:51.029 --> 00:21:55.905
Sparkly, and then with, like the Star of David or a big heart, could you imagine the welcome party?

00:21:56.661 --> 00:21:56.942
Oh my.

00:21:56.961 --> 00:22:02.486
God, I mean to be like cut through.

00:22:02.486 --> 00:22:03.576
Like you know, god's got some gangster in him too.

00:22:03.576 --> 00:22:07.768
Baby like you, just don't mess with me like God father, my foot, like.

00:22:07.768 --> 00:22:09.003
Let me tell you about my father.

00:22:09.003 --> 00:22:10.808
Who is God right?

00:22:10.808 --> 00:22:11.496
What do you think?

00:22:11.496 --> 00:22:11.940
Them ideas?

00:22:11.940 --> 00:22:13.484
They just trying to be like him.

00:22:13.545 --> 00:22:21.748
You better move on out the way, you don't know my daddy like I do thank you be like watch out, daddy, you see what they just did?

00:22:22.369 --> 00:22:27.391
yeah, because, baby, when he gets off that throne, you better watch it.

00:22:27.751 --> 00:22:27.913
Yeah.

00:22:28.681 --> 00:22:30.448
So yeah, that's how I got started.

00:22:33.761 --> 00:22:35.007
That is amazing.

00:22:35.007 --> 00:22:38.269
So your results came back all negative though, right yeah.

00:22:38.810 --> 00:22:39.973
Yeah, that's what he was, just like.

00:22:39.973 --> 00:22:42.842
Well, that's really strange, because usually you don't get that report.

00:22:42.842 --> 00:22:46.813
I was like well, I guess you do whenever you're witnessing you got your lust exposed.

00:22:46.813 --> 00:22:50.883
Be like no, you'll be Magic wand, Disappear.

00:22:50.883 --> 00:22:51.511
But I mean, you know.

00:22:51.511 --> 00:22:54.240
I still have to go back and do the six months checkup.

00:22:54.240 --> 00:22:56.939
But I was like you know what, Do I even need to do that?

00:22:56.939 --> 00:22:58.579
Because it already says in his word.

00:22:58.881 --> 00:23:00.162
Jesus took all of our.

00:23:00.541 --> 00:23:02.644
He took our diseases, our infirmities.

00:23:02.644 --> 00:23:04.405
Yes, he did so.

00:23:04.405 --> 00:23:05.606
Ain't nobody like him?

00:23:05.606 --> 00:23:06.487
That's right.

00:23:06.487 --> 00:23:10.874
I mean, can you imagine the patience, the amount of love, like whenever he gives you a message?

00:23:10.874 --> 00:23:13.599
It's simple and it's beautiful and it's pure.

00:23:13.599 --> 00:23:14.903
You just don't get any better.

00:23:14.903 --> 00:23:17.558
And then, you know, I usually I got to write it down at the bedside.

00:23:17.558 --> 00:23:20.961
Some of it I'm just like can you go back over that with me, because it's real pretty?

00:23:20.961 --> 00:23:21.863
But I messed it up.

00:23:21.863 --> 00:23:23.484
I put too many words in there.

00:23:23.484 --> 00:23:25.586
There were not this many words in there, but it was beautiful.

00:23:25.586 --> 00:23:27.115
Can you send that back to me so?

00:23:29.530 --> 00:23:32.376
Oh my gosh, I love your journey.

00:23:32.376 --> 00:23:37.401
I love that you're on it and you're steadfast and unwavering.

00:23:37.401 --> 00:23:38.363
I love it.

00:23:39.190 --> 00:23:40.832
You know, I told you he's got a sense of humor.

00:23:41.172 --> 00:23:41.472
Oh yeah.

00:23:41.673 --> 00:23:45.757
So, as a nurse, I would tell my patients when I admitted him you got to be real with them.

00:23:45.757 --> 00:23:53.846
So I'd tell him okay, you're going to want to scissor, kick me in the throat while you're here, but on your way out you were going to be hugging and kissing me because I'm going to be on you.

00:23:53.846 --> 00:24:00.138
We're going to get this done.

00:24:00.138 --> 00:24:03.904
You're coming't know how hard, but you will be better by the time that you leave me.

00:24:03.904 --> 00:24:06.196
And I did have to leave for a break.

00:24:06.329 --> 00:24:12.175
I do remember chasing after this one man when his wife had a stroke and I was trying to teach him how to use a peg.

00:24:12.175 --> 00:24:22.377
And that's the only thing that I really hate with health care and insurance when they need to be in there longer because you go through stages where you're not ready to accept what happened.

00:24:22.377 --> 00:24:26.144
He wasn't ready and he was scared because it I mean it's a lot.

00:24:26.144 --> 00:24:31.458
So he goes from doing literally everything and then they have a stroke.

00:24:31.458 --> 00:24:33.470
Well, because we try to take on too much and that's too much of a burden.

00:24:33.470 --> 00:24:35.518
Our bodies were never meant to carry that.

00:24:35.518 --> 00:24:37.958
That's why we have almighty God.

00:24:37.958 --> 00:24:39.736
We got to hand everything to him.

00:24:39.736 --> 00:24:42.880
But when we try to take it on, we break like I broke.

00:24:43.890 --> 00:24:46.836
But he was the one that also you think that was you doing this.

00:24:46.836 --> 00:24:49.643
Why do you think I made you as strong as I made you?

00:24:49.643 --> 00:24:51.693
Because I knew what you were getting into.

00:24:51.693 --> 00:24:52.355
You didn't.

00:24:52.355 --> 00:24:54.560
That's me showing you what to do.

00:24:54.560 --> 00:24:58.633
I was stupid and I was trying to take the no baby, that's no.

00:24:58.633 --> 00:25:02.476
So now, whenever I go back into it, I know I got my daddy, that's right.

00:25:02.476 --> 00:25:07.881
He's going to show me what I need to do because he's the one who made it, so he can tell me what I need, what to focus on.

00:25:07.881 --> 00:25:11.243
But you know, I had a stroke right what no?

00:25:11.844 --> 00:25:12.944
Yeah At 35.

00:25:12.944 --> 00:25:16.512
Taking on Too much, too much.

00:25:17.317 --> 00:25:17.839
Wait, okay.

00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:19.290
So where'd you go?

00:25:19.290 --> 00:25:20.012
What hospital did you go?

00:25:20.053 --> 00:25:20.093
to.

00:25:20.093 --> 00:25:22.759
Well, it's like North, and they sent me to.

00:25:23.099 --> 00:25:23.701
Was it rehab?

00:25:23.981 --> 00:25:25.795
Yep, I had some good.

00:25:25.795 --> 00:25:27.138
Was I your nurse?

00:25:27.138 --> 00:25:28.675
I want to say you probably were.

00:25:31.570 --> 00:25:35.567
Probably so, because God is mending everybody back together.

00:25:35.567 --> 00:25:36.349
Yes, yes.

00:25:36.349 --> 00:25:39.818
Well, if you had a sassy white girl that called herself a fire ant?

00:25:39.818 --> 00:25:40.461
Well then, that's so.

00:25:40.461 --> 00:25:42.256
I mean, and look, these are fire ants.

00:25:42.256 --> 00:25:49.172
I have never experienced a fire ant.

00:25:49.172 --> 00:25:49.692
Well then, that's so.

00:25:49.692 --> 00:25:50.414
I mean, and look, these are fire ants.

00:25:50.414 --> 00:25:51.919
I have never experienced a fire ant bite like these things before.

00:25:51.919 --> 00:25:53.442
And I told him I'm like god, I'm gonna be like a fire ant for you too.

00:25:53.442 --> 00:25:56.069
When I was lazy and I was having my pity party, I would go outside.

00:25:56.069 --> 00:25:57.913
I mean, those fire ants, baby.

00:25:57.913 --> 00:26:04.285
They just tore me up and I was like, oh, I'm not doing something today that I'm supposed to be doing.

00:26:04.285 --> 00:26:10.363
Fire ant, right, yeah, I had to go send one of my fire ants to fire you up.

00:26:10.363 --> 00:26:15.198
I was like sorry, but yeah, isn't it?

00:26:15.198 --> 00:26:16.259
He's funny.

00:26:16.259 --> 00:26:18.584
It's funny how everything comes back around me.

00:26:18.584 --> 00:26:20.795
But no, I tried to download your thing on my phone.

00:26:20.795 --> 00:26:22.417
I already told you.

00:26:22.679 --> 00:26:23.942
Oh yeah.

00:26:23.961 --> 00:26:24.643
I ain't lying to you.

00:26:24.643 --> 00:26:26.496
I sure didn't look it up.

00:26:26.970 --> 00:26:31.978
But yeah, I wasn't able to walk by the time that you got out of there were you.

00:26:32.309 --> 00:26:34.036
Oh, I wonder if you have my friend Beverly too.

00:26:34.036 --> 00:26:34.878
That's another one.

00:26:34.878 --> 00:26:37.238
Nurses, they have to be tough.

00:26:37.238 --> 00:26:45.002
Another thing is you don't know how to handle it because you can't transfer your feelings that you're going like from one room to another.

00:26:45.002 --> 00:26:49.346
You have one person that's okay, they just had back surgery or something.

00:26:49.346 --> 00:26:50.425
They can walk pretty good.

00:26:50.425 --> 00:27:00.459
But then you have somebody that had the sweetest thing in the world, that just had a baby, had a stroke and can't get through it with a newborn baby, and you're just asking what's going on but you don't know their story.

00:27:00.459 --> 00:27:04.890
Everything is God trying to wake somebody up and get them to pay attention.

00:27:04.890 --> 00:27:11.837
If you don't pay attention to what your body is saying, what he created it to, like I can look right now and say I'm dehydrated.

00:27:11.837 --> 00:27:15.414
I can tell that by my fingers being wrinkled up, like I know that I'm dehydrated.

00:27:15.414 --> 00:27:19.299
In case your fingers are ever wrinkled up like this oh no, no, I got some water right here.

00:27:19.299 --> 00:27:26.633
Yeah, really, that's some water right here.

00:27:26.653 --> 00:27:27.193
Yeah, so really yes, ma'am.

00:27:27.193 --> 00:27:30.298
Or whenever your tongue seems in my tongue it's kind of white or dehydrated, those are good tricks.

00:27:30.298 --> 00:27:33.044
Yes, ma'am, pay attention to your body.

00:27:33.084 --> 00:27:34.413
You got to pay attention to your body.

00:27:34.413 --> 00:27:35.516
That's why he made it that way.

00:27:35.516 --> 00:27:46.660
They're a little alarm, so and whenever your, your heart, like I can tell, whenever I'm getting anxious and whenever I'm like it's too much and it starts feeling heavy and I have a hard time breathing.

00:27:46.660 --> 00:27:47.682
I have to get that out.

00:27:47.682 --> 00:27:50.915
That's why there's I mean I say confetti, there's a mark on there for a reason.

00:27:50.915 --> 00:27:58.163
I mean, but just reading that and getting away from the noise and going to a quiet place and I have to read that he calms me down.

00:27:58.163 --> 00:28:04.499
I'm telling you, without him I would not have made it through this entire situation and I don't know how I made it without him.

00:28:04.499 --> 00:28:05.641
Well, clearly I didn't.

00:28:06.182 --> 00:28:11.352
Right, I didn't Right, I failed my storm.

00:28:11.833 --> 00:28:12.594
You're not alone.

00:28:12.594 --> 00:28:14.277
I know You're not alone.

00:28:14.676 --> 00:28:17.240
And that's why I love the Bible so much is it's.

00:28:17.240 --> 00:28:19.403
No one is perfect.

00:28:19.924 --> 00:28:20.224
Right.

00:28:21.589 --> 00:28:21.891
Not one person.

00:28:21.891 --> 00:28:23.135
It doesn't matter what you're going through.

00:28:23.135 --> 00:28:24.400
You perfect, right?

00:28:24.400 --> 00:28:25.123
Not one person.

00:28:25.123 --> 00:28:26.487
It doesn't matter what you're going through.

00:28:26.487 --> 00:28:26.969
You're not perfect.

00:28:26.969 --> 00:28:29.813
It's one sin versus another sin.

00:28:29.813 --> 00:28:31.159
You got to get rid of that so we can work through you.

00:28:31.159 --> 00:28:31.922
And without him we have nothing.

00:28:31.922 --> 00:28:34.711
He's the one who blesses and I don't know where this little lady is.

00:28:34.711 --> 00:28:35.570
I still feel bad.

00:28:35.830 --> 00:28:40.634
I was going around like I was the other day handing out my blessings and this lady, sass, talked to me.

00:28:40.634 --> 00:28:43.136
She was like no, I don't work here, why are you asking me that?

00:28:43.136 --> 00:28:45.499
And I was like I was trying to give you a blessing.

00:28:45.499 --> 00:28:56.067
And I got back in my car and I drove off and God just kind of very, very calmly, was like now, was that the best way to represent your father?

00:28:56.067 --> 00:28:59.833
Is that how you needed to handle that situation?

00:28:59.833 --> 00:29:00.875
I was like but she and he goes.

00:29:00.875 --> 00:29:04.042
How many times have you acted that way?

00:29:04.042 --> 00:29:11.217
Whenever I was trying to bless you, I was like well, you got me there.

00:29:11.217 --> 00:29:14.481
Sorry, daddy, I know, daddy, I did a U-turn.

00:29:14.481 --> 00:29:15.304
I couldn't find the lady.

00:29:15.304 --> 00:29:16.365
I was like ah.

00:29:18.550 --> 00:29:22.060
It's like next time, next time.

00:29:22.060 --> 00:29:23.516
This is for the next time.

00:29:23.516 --> 00:29:23.696
Yes.

00:29:24.009 --> 00:29:25.796
And it's not like how we would be like.

00:29:25.796 --> 00:29:26.678
Why did you do that?

00:29:26.678 --> 00:29:28.050
No, he's like.

00:29:28.050 --> 00:29:31.421
Is that how I would have handled that situation?

00:29:31.421 --> 00:29:32.515
What does my word say?

00:29:32.515 --> 00:29:39.758
You bless the just and the unjust Now, is that how I would have handled it?

00:29:39.758 --> 00:29:40.480
No, sir.

00:29:40.480 --> 00:29:41.554
So I know.

00:29:41.554 --> 00:29:42.217
That's him.

00:29:42.217 --> 00:29:43.712
Me, I'm doing it.

00:29:43.712 --> 00:29:46.641
Maybe I'm coming in hot turning on two wheels trying to find out.

00:29:46.641 --> 00:29:47.361
I'll be like ma'am.

00:29:47.361 --> 00:29:53.765
I'm sorry, I'm the one that missed out on the blessing Like no no, you still got the lesson.

00:29:54.086 --> 00:29:54.910
There is a lesson.

00:29:55.289 --> 00:29:57.291
Yes, there is a lesson in everything.

00:29:57.332 --> 00:29:58.212
In everything.

00:29:58.212 --> 00:29:59.494
That's all.

00:29:59.494 --> 00:30:05.840
That's really what this walk, this life, this journey is about is learning the lesson.

00:30:06.501 --> 00:30:09.964
Yes, ma'am, and we get lessons every single day.

00:30:09.964 --> 00:30:12.872
It's pretty amazing, it is.

00:30:12.872 --> 00:30:15.117
And so the people that are the homeless ones.

00:30:15.117 --> 00:30:19.018
I do like to joke with them Every morning and I call them my patients.

00:30:19.018 --> 00:30:22.519
I'm like, well, god, I'm working for you, I'm not getting paid here, I'm getting paid up there.

00:30:22.519 --> 00:30:24.821
It's like, well, god, I'm working for you, I'm not getting paid here, I'm getting paid up there.

00:30:24.821 --> 00:30:30.405
So I need to go check on Miss Sue, I need to go check on Miss Sheila, and I have my names and some of my men I haven't seen anymore.

00:30:30.405 --> 00:30:31.626
I don't know where Andrew went.

00:30:31.626 --> 00:30:36.454
I've only met Andrew, and of course, the men's name are biblical, also Jesus.

00:30:36.595 --> 00:30:40.739
No, that one threw me off for a big old loop, but you never know whenever he's going to be testing you.

00:30:40.739 --> 00:30:47.926
You're right, but I do know that he also said that there would be false prophets and people claiming to be the Messiah and they go here, there and no.

00:30:47.926 --> 00:30:51.000
But as I told this guy, I was like you know what?

00:30:51.000 --> 00:30:56.042
Imagine what this world would be like if we all treated people how we would treat Jesus.

00:30:56.042 --> 00:30:59.433
Can you imagine that would probably be what heaven is like?

00:30:59.693 --> 00:31:03.439
If we treated each other with love and respect, because that was his commandment.

00:31:03.439 --> 00:31:05.862
That he told us to do is to love one another.

00:31:05.862 --> 00:31:08.665
So that's what I feel like heaven's gonna be like.

00:31:08.665 --> 00:31:11.944
Can you imagine the amount of love, and it's gonna be amazing.

00:31:11.944 --> 00:31:12.708
I keep asking.

00:31:12.708 --> 00:31:14.894
I'm like god can I please have a unicorn that flies?

00:31:14.894 --> 00:31:16.460
I mean I don't want a unicorn so bad.

00:31:16.460 --> 00:31:21.221
I mean you know he can that would be awesome you know he can make it.

00:31:21.241 --> 00:31:21.943
That would be awesome.

00:31:21.943 --> 00:31:23.507
You know he can make it.

00:31:23.507 --> 00:31:30.276
I'm not talking about getting a little party hat and painting it white and slapping it on a horse Like don't get out of here while I'm jazzed.

00:31:30.317 --> 00:31:30.979
A real one.

00:31:30.979 --> 00:31:35.755
Yes, oh, heaven will be beautiful.

00:31:36.436 --> 00:31:38.623
Yes, it is, it's going to be beautiful.

00:31:39.009 --> 00:31:52.557
That's why I was, whenever I was reading one of the books that Jesse Duplantis wrote, and it said that you know, next time, if I don't meet you in person here on earth, then I can't wait to see you in heaven, because I'll be sliding down the streets of gold in my socks and I'll be sticking my head in your window.

00:31:52.557 --> 00:31:54.657
I was like God, can I live next to Jesse?

00:31:54.657 --> 00:31:56.690
I mean, I can't even imagine.

00:31:56.690 --> 00:31:58.400
Like his wife, he's a strong preacher.

00:31:58.400 --> 00:32:00.048
Yes, he's a strong preacher.

00:32:00.048 --> 00:32:07.601
Yes, that's a stronger woman behind the man, because you know that woman's been praying.

00:32:07.820 --> 00:32:10.125
Yes, it's a strong man.

00:32:10.144 --> 00:32:14.636
Yes, and she's so cute, I just want she's precious.

00:32:14.636 --> 00:32:16.335
So I mean I just can't wait.

00:32:16.335 --> 00:32:17.473
I'm like God, I cannot wait.

00:32:17.473 --> 00:32:18.238
I cannot wait.

00:32:18.238 --> 00:32:22.683
I want to be running along Jesse and his wife and she's probably going to be like no, I want to be running along Jesse and his wife.

00:32:22.683 --> 00:32:24.872
She's probably going to be like no, y'all go have fun.

00:32:25.051 --> 00:32:28.838
I'm going to be in here praying, worshiping.

00:32:28.838 --> 00:32:31.124
I'll go ahead.

00:32:31.845 --> 00:32:32.586
Yeah, go ahead.

00:32:32.586 --> 00:32:36.855
I'm like I need somebody to cut up with the Believers Convention.

00:32:36.855 --> 00:32:37.656
I went to this year.

00:32:37.656 --> 00:32:39.760
I want all of us to go next year.

00:32:39.760 --> 00:32:41.423
I want to bring so many people with me.

00:32:41.423 --> 00:32:45.296
It's amazing when you walk into that convention center.

00:32:45.636 --> 00:32:48.614
I cried my head off all the way there and then all the way back.

00:32:48.614 --> 00:32:51.305
I didn't want to come back home but I had to for my child.

00:32:51.305 --> 00:32:53.632
But I mean, I stopped on the side of the road.

00:32:53.632 --> 00:32:55.476
I think I was probably lost.

00:32:55.476 --> 00:33:02.047
I couldn't remember if I missed my exit or not because I was just crying, I didn't want to leave so bad, and there was a police officer that pulled up beside me.

00:33:02.047 --> 00:33:03.390
It was like Mary, are you okay?

00:33:03.390 --> 00:33:05.395
I was like I'm fine, I'm just talking to God.

00:33:05.395 --> 00:33:10.071
I just like I don't want to go, but I'm praying that they'll bring it.

00:33:10.071 --> 00:33:11.980
Yeah, maybe I mean brochures, got a.

00:33:11.980 --> 00:33:13.185
We've got a convention center.

00:33:13.185 --> 00:33:14.451
Sure, we've got a convention center.

00:33:14.451 --> 00:33:14.892
What I mean?

00:33:14.892 --> 00:33:19.330
I know God can make it happen, but maybe he knows we just maybe we need to, we need a road trip.

00:33:19.330 --> 00:33:20.815
We might need a road trip.

00:33:20.815 --> 00:33:22.558
I mean I mean maybe a beach.

00:33:22.558 --> 00:33:23.922
I need to look and see where they have it.

00:33:24.303 --> 00:33:24.963
Yeah.

00:33:25.451 --> 00:33:31.400
I mean, the setup there in Fort Worth is so pretty, like all the rocks and the water and the little fountain that they have there.

00:33:31.400 --> 00:33:34.519
I'm like this reminds me of the pool where they were healing.

00:33:34.519 --> 00:33:36.798
And the guy was just like are you here for the convention?

00:33:36.798 --> 00:33:39.738
And I was like I don't know, I thought I missed it.

00:33:39.738 --> 00:33:40.459
I don't know where it is.

00:33:40.459 --> 00:33:41.680
I know it's in one of these buildings.

00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:42.901
And he goes well, come with me.

00:33:42.901 --> 00:33:48.305
I'm like, okay, I said well, I came here for, and he goes well, which of the pastors do you like listening to?

00:33:48.305 --> 00:33:50.426
I was like well, mr kenneth reminds me of my dad.

00:33:50.426 --> 00:33:51.686
I like jesse.

00:33:51.686 --> 00:33:52.050
And he goes.

00:33:52.050 --> 00:33:55.659
So he gets on his phone, he goes oh, they're still talking.

00:33:55.659 --> 00:33:56.942
He hasn't even started preaching yet.

00:33:56.990 --> 00:33:59.493
And I was like I love you, thank you, god.

00:33:59.493 --> 00:34:02.398
So yeah, it was.

00:34:02.398 --> 00:34:06.994
I mean they even had white robes hanging up in the hotel rooms and I was like am I about to die?

00:34:06.994 --> 00:34:07.537
Is this?

00:34:07.537 --> 00:34:08.981
Don't need to go wash this robe?

00:34:08.981 --> 00:34:11.074
It does feel a little funny like somebody smoked in it.

00:34:11.074 --> 00:34:12.922
But hey, I mean, girl, I was cutting up.

00:34:12.922 --> 00:34:18.416
I know god was just like this girl right here, he just takes care of us.

00:34:18.456 --> 00:34:22.161
I know what he's like, that one's on fire.

00:34:22.161 --> 00:34:23.704
I just got to keep her covered.

00:34:23.704 --> 00:34:23.905
Yes.

00:34:25.570 --> 00:34:26.635
Maybe doesn't he.

00:34:26.635 --> 00:34:29.052
Yes, ma'am, because I know what I got into some of the.

00:34:29.052 --> 00:34:31.918
I went into Cedar Grove.

00:34:31.918 --> 00:34:33.681
Yeah, I want to go there it needs it.

00:34:33.702 --> 00:34:34.563
You're a witness in there.

00:34:34.664 --> 00:34:37.418
Yes, but I pulled in there and then the guy looked at me.

00:34:37.418 --> 00:34:50.735
He goes girl, you're the wrong color to be in here.

00:34:50.735 --> 00:34:51.317
I go just because daddy left.

00:34:51.317 --> 00:34:52.101
He pulled me out of the oven too soon.

00:34:52.101 --> 00:34:52.523
Baby, it don't matter.

00:34:52.523 --> 00:34:53.146
Really, we say daddy don't care.

00:34:53.146 --> 00:34:53.969
Right, we found the same daddy, thank you.

00:34:53.969 --> 00:34:56.971
But his name was Charles.

00:34:56.990 --> 00:34:58.893
But I know, I know God got a hold to the one guy that was sitting in the seat.

00:34:58.893 --> 00:35:00.195
It was a little weird at first, but I know God got him.

00:35:00.195 --> 00:35:03.601
Yeah, he said I picked him up at the gas station because he asked me if I could take him.

00:35:03.601 --> 00:35:04.762
I was like what are you waiting on?

00:35:04.762 --> 00:35:06.085
He was like well, I couldn't get on the bus.

00:35:06.085 --> 00:35:08.376
The bus said that I looked like somebody and I couldn't get a ride.

00:35:08.376 --> 00:35:09.519
And I was like are you saved?

00:35:09.519 --> 00:35:16.335
And he said he was.

00:35:16.335 --> 00:35:18.778
I was like okay, well, jesus is riding with me, so let's roll.

00:35:18.778 --> 00:35:19.860
He asked me what my name?

00:35:20.000 --> 00:35:23.503
Awkward, because I kept asking him okay, where do you want me to drop you off at?

00:35:23.503 --> 00:35:25.505
And he was like just a little ways up here.

00:35:25.505 --> 00:35:27.251
Oh, you can drop me off at this gas station.

00:35:27.251 --> 00:35:28.195
We pass a gas station.

00:35:28.195 --> 00:35:29.077
Well, just a little bit farther.

00:35:29.077 --> 00:35:30.510
I was like, maybe, really, where do you stay?

00:35:30.510 --> 00:35:33.454
And he was like, oh, you can just drop me off at this gas.

00:35:33.454 --> 00:35:34.315
I didn't know where I was.

00:35:34.315 --> 00:35:35.356
I'm not from this area.

00:35:35.356 --> 00:35:37.878
And he was like, well, it's cedar grove.

00:35:37.878 --> 00:35:44.010
And I was like I remember that.

00:35:44.010 --> 00:35:45.896
Oh, I remember bringing somebody here.

00:35:45.896 --> 00:35:49.472
Whenever I first moved here I was like, oh, no, wait, that was cooper road, we're okay.

00:35:49.472 --> 00:35:53.402
Oh, then afterwards I was like, okay, that was god's grace right there.

00:35:53.402 --> 00:35:54.231
Thank you, father.

00:35:54.231 --> 00:35:58.356
Now let's see why you sent him out by the twos.

00:35:58.356 --> 00:36:00.077
I got it, that's's right.

00:36:00.277 --> 00:36:05.664
So yeah, I know so that was one of those where it's like girl, don't push my, don't test your daddy okay.

00:36:05.684 --> 00:36:06.286
Right right.

00:36:08.192 --> 00:36:12.836
But I know that I was there for a reason, like I know, because again my little handouts that I gave him.

00:36:12.836 --> 00:36:29.963
It was kind of awkward at first because he wouldn't get out of the car, but then a big group of people started walking towards the car and this is a big red flag that I've found, or that God has pointed out when someone wants to call you not by your name but by what your sin is, that's how you know that that's Satan trying to work on you Like baby.

00:36:29.963 --> 00:36:31.264
I was delivered from that.

00:36:31.264 --> 00:36:32.706
I'm not an alcoholic.

00:36:33.266 --> 00:36:34.507
I am not living in sin.

00:36:34.507 --> 00:36:42.306
There's no man that's going to be living in the house with me unless we're married or unless God tells me there is no.

00:36:42.306 --> 00:36:43.871
Hanging Like baby, stop even looking, because I made the mistake.

00:36:43.871 --> 00:36:49.161
Because whenever I'm driving I get comfortable and I put my leg up on the side like kicked up, like a kickstand.

00:36:49.161 --> 00:36:51.559
And whenever he looked over, he like looked over like this.

00:36:51.559 --> 00:36:53.436
I'm like, oh no, baby, that's close for business.

00:36:53.436 --> 00:36:53.818
I'm sorry.

00:36:53.818 --> 00:36:55.795
I told you God, I'm daddy's.

00:36:55.795 --> 00:36:57.079
Ain't nothing happening here?

00:37:02.869 --> 00:37:03.110
get it I get.

00:37:03.130 --> 00:37:04.076
Oh, that's the way, that's the way, that's the way.

00:37:04.076 --> 00:37:04.538
I'm like he is the way.

00:37:04.538 --> 00:37:05.481
Yes, he is, and he's watching you right now.

00:37:05.481 --> 00:37:05.965
He's watching us both.

00:37:05.965 --> 00:37:07.351
And he was like, are you gonna take me to church?

00:37:07.351 --> 00:37:16.971
I'm like, if god wants us, because he kept saying that we were meant to be together and I said I'll tell you what, if it's really meant to be together, god's gonna make a way and I guess I'll see you at church.

00:37:16.971 --> 00:37:25.324
The last time I saw him and that's the last time I went over there, but I'm like, god, I'm going to get a hold of that, not me, you are going to get a hold of that place.

00:37:25.324 --> 00:37:29.380
So, but I know he got that one.

00:37:29.849 --> 00:37:34.739
Maybe that's why I was there, like I said he left the 99 to get the one, so maybe that was the one.

00:37:34.840 --> 00:37:35.422
Yes, he did.

00:37:35.422 --> 00:37:40.235
I'm always saying some plant, some water, god receives the increase.

00:37:40.710 --> 00:37:41.172
That's right.

00:37:41.452 --> 00:37:44.360
Whatever that was watering or planting you did it.

00:37:46.472 --> 00:37:49.619
Well, I don't know, yeah, he did something.

00:37:49.619 --> 00:37:50.021
He did.

00:37:50.021 --> 00:37:50.621
He saved me.

00:37:50.621 --> 00:37:51.344
I know that's right.

00:37:51.344 --> 00:37:53.798
He kept you covered while it was happening.

00:37:53.798 --> 00:37:58.081
I can't claim none of that except Thank you, daddy.

00:37:58.081 --> 00:38:03.396
Thank you for that opportunity and that lesson All at one time.

00:38:05.673 --> 00:38:06.764
All at one time.

00:38:06.764 --> 00:38:12.099
All at one time, oh so have you had any like whenever you are witnessing to the homeless or period?

00:38:12.099 --> 00:38:14.452
Have you had?

00:38:14.452 --> 00:38:20.458
Like when you go into businesses or places like that, do you have people that kind of shut you down?

00:38:20.458 --> 00:38:24.657
Oh, yes, yeah, how does that make you feel, or how does that?

00:38:25.041 --> 00:38:25.889
the first time it happened.

00:38:25.889 --> 00:38:28.579
The first time it was shocked, like what?

00:38:28.579 --> 00:38:30.235
They're like, oh no, I'm good, thank you.

00:38:30.235 --> 00:38:32.175
I'm like oh no, I'm going to hand this to you anyways.

00:38:32.175 --> 00:38:34.119
No, you're not good, you don't know who he is.

00:38:34.119 --> 00:38:38.393
You need him, but you can't.

00:38:38.454 --> 00:38:45.364
Day is like if they're not ready yet or they just choose, not, he doesn't force them, it's a choice.

00:38:45.364 --> 00:38:47.815
So that was the hardest lesson.

00:38:47.815 --> 00:38:52.974
I mean, I've cried over that and sometimes I still do cry, just depends on the situation.

00:38:52.974 --> 00:38:55.179
But now some of it just kind of makes me giggle.

00:38:55.179 --> 00:38:58.753
But if I'm in a store and if they're working, I'm like I'll just leave it on whatever they're working on.

00:38:58.753 --> 00:39:01.996
I was like I'm just going to just leave this here because I know God's going to make a way.

00:39:02.938 --> 00:39:07.364
But yeah, and then some of them were just like look at you, like, oh, you think you're so much better.

00:39:07.364 --> 00:39:09.606
No, baby, no, I'm not.

00:39:09.606 --> 00:39:12.418
I would not be what I am without him.

00:39:12.418 --> 00:39:31.038
I would not be able to make it through no-transcript, and I guess he had to do that to me too, honestly.

00:39:31.038 --> 00:39:39.998
But it was just so I would know it wasn't anybody else, it wasn't my parents, it wasn't my sisters, it wasn't my baby's father.

00:39:39.998 --> 00:39:42.518
It was nobody but God that saved me.

00:39:42.518 --> 00:39:47.536
My baby's father it was nobody but God that saved me.

00:39:47.536 --> 00:39:48.940
He literally removed everything and it was just us.

00:39:48.940 --> 00:39:49.543
So he gets all the glory.

00:39:49.543 --> 00:39:50.166
It was nobody else.

00:39:50.166 --> 00:39:51.610
Everybody else was just like you need to get up.

00:39:51.650 --> 00:39:57.251
You need to do this when you have been rocked off your feet and you were at the lowest you've ever been in your life.

00:39:57.251 --> 00:40:08.400
And another lesson is never say that you will never do something, because watch what he does when you think that you are oh, I'll never become like that.

00:40:08.661 --> 00:40:09.221
Oh really.

00:40:09.802 --> 00:40:10.882
Look at where you are now, girl.

00:40:10.882 --> 00:40:12.224
Now tell me what you won't do.

00:40:13.025 --> 00:40:14.005
Gotta make you humble.

00:40:14.786 --> 00:40:15.927
Quickly and in a hurry.

00:40:15.927 --> 00:40:28.952
Yeah, but, hattie, I thank him every single day for it because I needed it, single day for it, because I needed it.

00:40:28.952 --> 00:40:32.302
If hell is anything like being around unbelievers and people that backstab you and lie and really don't care about you, that's enough.

00:40:32.302 --> 00:40:33.143
That's hell for me.

00:40:33.143 --> 00:40:34.172
I don't need the rest of it.

00:40:34.172 --> 00:40:34.512
I'm good.

00:40:34.512 --> 00:40:37.099
Thank you, I like the way you put that.

00:40:37.099 --> 00:40:38.581
That is hell.

00:40:38.581 --> 00:40:39.391
That's hell to me.

00:40:40.193 --> 00:40:45.150
Yeah, people that hurt you on purpose that's what Satan does, I mean.

00:40:45.150 --> 00:40:46.376
But look at what he gave up.

00:40:46.376 --> 00:40:51.983
That's why he works so hard, so that he's not by himself, so that he can make fun of other people because of what he did.

00:40:51.983 --> 00:40:58.402
And what if people unbelievers don't want other people to believe because they're too scared to make a move?

00:40:58.402 --> 00:41:03.759
So that's the way that I see it and on God's level, he is fun.

00:41:03.759 --> 00:41:04.862
He is amazing.

00:41:04.862 --> 00:41:07.338
He can create anything he wants to.

00:41:07.338 --> 00:41:13.818
So you can either be someone that just watches somebody do it, or you can be a partaker and you can be part of the action.

00:41:13.818 --> 00:41:17.641
So you want to sit on the sidelines or you want to be put in the game, what you want to do.

00:41:17.641 --> 00:41:19.451
I mean, he got cheerleaders.

00:41:19.451 --> 00:41:20.130
Don't get me wrong, they're good.

00:41:20.130 --> 00:41:20.552
He got cheerleaders.

00:41:20.552 --> 00:41:22.813
Don't get me wrong, they're good, but it's all part of a team.

00:41:22.813 --> 00:41:23.873
It's his team.

00:41:23.873 --> 00:41:26.255
It's just what are you able to do?

00:41:26.255 --> 00:41:28.177
How much faith do you put into it?

00:41:28.177 --> 00:41:31.094
What are you willing to give up this way?

00:41:31.115 --> 00:41:31.438
is it?

00:41:31.438 --> 00:41:36.865
That was so good, that was so good.

00:41:36.885 --> 00:41:39.182
Well, thank you, I told you.

00:41:39.182 --> 00:41:45.688
I was like please don't make a small of my foot, lord I mean, I do have some water right here, but hey, it's being real.

00:41:46.751 --> 00:41:47.413
That's right.

00:41:47.413 --> 00:41:51.927
You broke that down to where everyone can understand.

00:41:51.927 --> 00:41:53.349
You have a choice.

00:41:53.349 --> 00:41:55.492
Yes, ma'am, you have a choice.

00:41:55.512 --> 00:41:56.275
You have a choice.

00:41:56.275 --> 00:41:59.505
God doesn't want us miserable and girl, I may have to call you.

00:41:59.505 --> 00:42:02.748
So on my bad days I'll be like, can you repeat that to me?

00:42:02.748 --> 00:42:03.231
Right?

00:42:03.231 --> 00:42:14.548
But I mean, we all have, especially women, Like we were talking earlier your hormones, this monthly thing, and then, when you get older, like I don't even know what's going on, I'm like God, what is this?

00:42:14.548 --> 00:42:15.251
Jesus?

00:42:15.251 --> 00:42:16.893
I need you to come down right now.

00:42:16.893 --> 00:42:18.365
So, like, lend me your ear.

00:42:18.365 --> 00:42:21.443
No, I don't need just your ear, I need your whole everything.

00:42:21.443 --> 00:42:23.228
Fix something, Daddy, something off.

00:42:23.228 --> 00:42:24.211
I need you to fix it.

00:42:24.211 --> 00:42:27.568
Like your girl is going crazy down here.

00:42:27.568 --> 00:42:30.862
But yeah, you just, and he'll answer in a hurry.

00:42:30.862 --> 00:42:32.264
No, he's pretty amazing.

00:42:32.545 --> 00:42:36.391
I think he is, I know he is, I know he is.

00:42:36.391 --> 00:42:38.052
Oh my goodness.

00:42:38.853 --> 00:42:39.534
Pretty phenomenal.

00:42:39.534 --> 00:42:42.445
But girls, I mean, that's something like God you need to.

00:42:42.445 --> 00:42:50.802
Your girls are getting a beating down here, I mean, and I know that he's busy, I know he's working, but I know oh, what is it?

00:42:50.802 --> 00:42:54.184
Can't remember my name, but my other friend that I want you to meet.

00:42:54.184 --> 00:43:07.614
She's also having experienced the same thing with homeless, where there's a lady that'll come in and you have to know how to communicate with somebody, or else, if you don't get the message where they can understand it, you're wasting your breath, you're not going to get anywhere.

00:43:07.614 --> 00:43:17.465
But she was saying how God has sent her down here to help save her people and what they're doing with children Like the boys, where they're trying to make them into girls, right?

00:43:17.465 --> 00:43:22.956
Well, if you read part of the Bible, that was one of the evil spirits that they had way back in the day, and I'm like, baby, it's all in God's.

00:43:22.956 --> 00:43:24.221
He's already told us.

00:43:24.221 --> 00:43:28.231
You just got to read the manual, you just have to read the manual.

00:43:29.719 --> 00:43:31.943
And he it's so amazing because he breaks it down too.

00:43:31.943 --> 00:43:32.324
I didn't get angry.

00:43:32.324 --> 00:43:33.105
Sometimes I'm like God of damn too.

00:43:33.105 --> 00:43:33.425
I do get angry.

00:43:33.425 --> 00:43:36.030
Sometimes I'm like God if you're trying to give me a message in a parable.

00:43:36.030 --> 00:43:39.253
I don't need parables, I need blood coming to it straight.

00:43:39.253 --> 00:43:44.302
You know, sometimes you don't know what's going on and you read too much into it.

00:43:44.302 --> 00:43:48.702
But you just got to calm yourself and when you're ready to listen, he'll give you the message.

00:43:48.742 --> 00:43:49.465
Yes, he will.

00:43:49.465 --> 00:43:57.811
He'll just politely put his understanding on it politely yes, not feisty like what we like.

00:43:57.992 --> 00:44:04.530
Yeah, because our heavenly father he's got manners yes, he does and I know that love.

00:44:04.530 --> 00:44:11.961
Oh my god, that love and that was one of the messages that he told me was people keep trying to save the world through worldly means.

00:44:11.961 --> 00:44:13.585
You're not going to do it through worldly means.

00:44:13.585 --> 00:44:14.788
What was God's job?

00:44:14.788 --> 00:44:16.972
Jesus came down to save the world.

00:44:16.972 --> 00:44:22.271
So until we unify and do what his word said, and love, one another.

00:44:22.411 --> 00:44:32.905
And love, but it's not our love, it's through God's love, because his love is perfect and pure and honest and trustworthy and he keeps his word.

00:44:32.905 --> 00:44:33.641
That was.

00:44:33.641 --> 00:44:33.960
I mean.

00:44:33.960 --> 00:44:47.088
He even had me break down, define the definition of what word is and I was like, oh okay, it's a statement, it's a sentence, it's letters put together, it has meaning.

00:44:47.088 --> 00:44:48.431
What is the Bible?

00:44:48.431 --> 00:44:49.764
Does he not stand true?

00:44:49.764 --> 00:44:51.286
Does he not keep his word?

00:44:51.286 --> 00:44:55.702
Like the rainbow, when he keeps his word and he keeps a promise everlasting.

00:44:55.702 --> 00:44:59.626
I saw a rainbow this morning before I came in here, so I mean I know I got.

00:44:59.626 --> 00:45:00.487
I love rainbows.

00:45:00.547 --> 00:45:02.829
Now I do too Because that's and.

00:45:02.829 --> 00:45:03.829
I do too.

00:45:04.271 --> 00:45:12.019
So this is what I was thinking about, this Cause you know how it's the lesbians and the gays and I'm like you know what Cause?

00:45:12.019 --> 00:45:18.121
Somebody asked me what I thought about that and I was like, well, it's funny, because my sister, I was like I don't know, god's always got a bigger plan.

00:45:18.121 --> 00:45:25.461
So I'm like I'm a sinner myself, I'm working not to do all this because it is possible through christ.

00:45:25.461 --> 00:45:29.590
I was like, but why are you going to try to exchange one sin for another?

00:45:29.590 --> 00:45:33.065
Because I hear you backstabbing and you're two-faced.

00:45:33.065 --> 00:45:34.547
God can't stand that either.

00:45:35.108 --> 00:45:41.449
At all like no, he will not put up with it I'm like so your haughtiness and your self-righteousness he hates.

00:45:41.449 --> 00:45:43.965
I was like so you get off your high horse.

00:45:43.965 --> 00:45:46.617
Stop judging somebody else for what their sin is.

00:45:46.617 --> 00:45:54.623
You can't exchange one sin for another right so who's to say that god's not going to wrestle this around and use a rainbow to save somebody?

00:45:54.623 --> 00:45:58.108
I'm like you don't know what God's got in store.

00:45:58.228 --> 00:46:00.532
You don't know why they chose that.

00:46:00.592 --> 00:46:01.653
You have no idea.

00:46:01.653 --> 00:46:04.204
God already knew the devil lied to them, just like he did to us.

00:46:04.204 --> 00:46:05.951
Just like he did to us.

00:46:05.951 --> 00:46:09.360
Thank you, I'm like I was sleeping with people I wasn't married with.

00:46:10.181 --> 00:46:15.565
A sin is a sin baby, it don't matter what kind of face you want to put on it, take the mask off, it's still the same thing.

00:46:15.565 --> 00:46:22.291
And you think, if you trying to get me caught up in a lot, no, I ain't casting a stone.

00:46:22.291 --> 00:46:29.157
If anything, what I'm going to cast is a hug and I'm going to tell him about our father and be like I was lied to, I was deceived.

00:46:29.157 --> 00:46:32.282
But let me tell you about who our father is.

00:46:32.282 --> 00:46:38.373
So when you're ready to come on home, when you've had enough, you already know he loves you because he said go forth and be fruitful.

00:46:38.373 --> 00:46:39.644
Well, you can't be fruitful.

00:46:39.644 --> 00:46:44.813
He's already trying to save you from the beginning because he knows what you're up against, because you got deceived.

00:46:44.813 --> 00:46:46.204
He loves you that much.

00:46:46.204 --> 00:46:48.789
He hates to see you hurt and he hates to see you crying.

00:46:48.789 --> 00:46:50.525
He wants you to be blessed.

00:46:50.525 --> 00:46:51.768
That's the way I look at it.

00:46:51.768 --> 00:46:53.788
I'm like no, absolutely not.

00:46:53.788 --> 00:47:01.387
We're all in the same boat and it all leads to the same answer.

00:47:01.387 --> 00:47:02.168
It all leads back to Jesus.

00:47:02.168 --> 00:47:04.192
Maybe he already knew we were going to be in a hot mess.

00:47:04.192 --> 00:47:04.833
He did.

00:47:04.833 --> 00:47:09.429
I mean, can you imagine the amount of the weight and the pain?

00:47:09.429 --> 00:47:12.320
And I can't remember who else I think I went through?

00:47:12.340 --> 00:47:22.096
I was talking to Joe about just the stuff that you know the doctors that write prescriptions and like pain medicine and Adderall and stuff like that, where God's going to get a hold of you.

00:47:22.096 --> 00:47:31.387
Rejection and being rejected causes physical pain and a lot of people don't understand that Sin literally causes you physical pain.

00:47:31.387 --> 00:47:35.449
Yes, and you try to keep going and keep going and keep going.

00:47:35.449 --> 00:47:37.847
God will put you on your knees.

00:47:37.847 --> 00:47:40.989
No amount of energy in the world can keep you going.

00:47:40.989 --> 00:47:46.306
When you try to handle everything on your own, you have to give it to God, and that covers every realm.

00:47:46.306 --> 00:47:47.405
I don't care what you're dealing with.

00:47:47.405 --> 00:47:49.588
If you give it to him, he's already bored.

00:47:49.588 --> 00:47:51.447
That's the importance of the cross.

00:47:52.561 --> 00:47:56.210
But we were talking about what was worse physical or emotional pain.

00:47:56.210 --> 00:48:00.483
And after being stupid and say emotional, way worse.

00:48:00.483 --> 00:48:03.855
I was like you know what both of them I said.

00:48:03.855 --> 00:48:04.556
But you know what?

00:48:04.556 --> 00:48:06.101
Who had the worst end of it?

00:48:06.101 --> 00:48:07.923
Again, jesus.

00:48:07.923 --> 00:48:12.974
Yeah, can you imagine the amount of weight and pain, the betrayal.

00:48:12.974 --> 00:48:22.510
And then you had people mocking whenever, while he he, girl, if you read about he was even working miracles, while he was being persecuted and beat.

00:48:22.510 --> 00:48:27.027
So I'm like sorry, there's nobody greater than him, none.

00:48:27.027 --> 00:48:29.355
And who do I want on my side?

00:48:29.355 --> 00:48:33.164
Thank you, somebody that kind and that loving and that gracious.

00:48:33.164 --> 00:48:40.516
No, that's why he says do not rely on men, don't even rely on princes, nobody of human form, nobody of this world.

00:48:40.516 --> 00:48:43.583
Sorry, you will never measure up, Not to my God.

00:48:44.204 --> 00:48:44.425
No.

00:48:44.704 --> 00:48:45.527
Not to my Savior.

00:48:45.527 --> 00:48:49.152
No, my Lord is Lord of Lord.

00:48:49.152 --> 00:48:51.001
King of Kings, baby, you can't.

00:48:51.360 --> 00:48:53.643
Can't come close, can't compare.

00:48:54.684 --> 00:48:55.644
Never, that's right.

00:48:57.045 --> 00:48:57.867
Can't compare.

00:48:58.427 --> 00:49:00.909
Like can you imagine what you're going to say whenever you see him?

00:49:00.909 --> 00:49:01.769
Like?

00:49:01.769 --> 00:49:03.050
I'm going to give him the biggest bear hug.

00:49:03.050 --> 00:49:05.534
I am too Like baby.

00:49:05.534 --> 00:49:09.416
He's going to be like thank God, this girl is up here, finally.

00:49:09.416 --> 00:49:12.476
Be like Jesus.

00:49:12.476 --> 00:49:13.844
I mean, I can't wait.

00:49:14.786 --> 00:49:16.994
I can see him Come here, baby.

00:49:16.994 --> 00:49:17.677
I know I can't wait.

00:49:17.677 --> 00:49:18.500
I can see him Come here, baby.

00:49:20.527 --> 00:49:25.603
I'm not wrong, I'm not going to like run and leap, come here.

00:49:25.603 --> 00:49:30.409
Sometimes, when it gets so bad, I'm like I know you've got a finger that you've been, you've stuck down here before.

00:49:30.409 --> 00:49:34.695
Can I just latch on, just bring me up, just come on Just for a moment?

00:49:34.695 --> 00:49:39.291
Right, and so thisady got on to me.

00:49:39.920 --> 00:49:46.387
I know he'll, he'll eventually come on here he was like I figured you out, you're about hugs and I go, let me tell you about hugs.

00:49:46.387 --> 00:49:56.545
I said whenever I was all alone and I was crying and I was at the the lowest I've ever been in my entire life, I could feel someone cover me, and it was a hug.

00:49:56.545 --> 00:50:00.085
I said there was nobody in my house, it was just me.

00:50:00.085 --> 00:50:02.932
I said I know that was Jesus, so you best bet.

00:50:02.932 --> 00:50:06.498
I said I don't care what you could smell good, you could be dirty, you could smell.

00:50:06.498 --> 00:50:07.621
I don't care what you smell like.

00:50:07.621 --> 00:50:13.028
I'm still going to give you a hug because it was that hug that I knew that somebody loved me and somebody was there for me.

00:50:13.389 --> 00:50:13.751
Yes.

00:50:14.311 --> 00:50:15.472
I will never forget that hug.

00:50:15.472 --> 00:50:17.201
I will never forget that moment.

00:50:17.201 --> 00:50:28.228
Then, on the medical side, seeing, I know what the pressure does it releases, it calms you, everything that it does and it releases the oxytocin.

00:50:28.228 --> 00:50:34.414
Maybe it's the hormone that you get whenever you have like whenever babies are born the healing powers of a hug.

00:50:34.414 --> 00:50:36.355
It releases hormones Like the moms whenever you first have a hug.

00:50:36.355 --> 00:50:37.552
It releases hormones like the moms whenever you first have a baby.

00:50:37.552 --> 00:50:38.253
You know that.

00:50:38.253 --> 00:50:40.976
Oh, you know what I'm talking about that smell and that hug.

00:50:41.235 --> 00:50:42.983
Oh, baby fever.

00:50:42.983 --> 00:50:46.990
You get so whenever I was first.

00:50:46.990 --> 00:50:54.063
That's why I hug my bible whenever on my real bad days I'm just like and like.

00:50:54.063 --> 00:50:57.887
In church everybody's hold their hands up and worshiping and I'm holding my hands.

00:50:57.887 --> 00:51:01.311
It's because in my mind Jesus is already there.

00:51:01.311 --> 00:51:04.615
I'm holding his hand through it and I'm worshiping with him.

00:51:04.615 --> 00:51:13.911
So I know probably some of my churchmen be like I don't know what it's going to take to get this girl over here to lift them hands up.

00:51:13.931 --> 00:51:16.099
I got my own thing going, just mind your business, that's right.

00:51:16.099 --> 00:51:23.106
Or I'm over here like ain't going, just mind your business, that's right.

00:51:23.106 --> 00:51:23.427
That's right.

00:51:23.427 --> 00:51:24.028
You're like hugging my bible?

00:51:24.028 --> 00:51:24.530
Just mind your business.

00:51:24.530 --> 00:51:24.911
Exactly, look at it.

00:51:24.911 --> 00:51:28.478
I won't have to hot glue that baby back together, but my little confetti bible, as I like to call it, it's a beautiful work, beautiful.

00:51:28.478 --> 00:51:31.226
There's a lot of tears in this sucker right here, but you know what.

00:51:31.226 --> 00:51:34.847
It got me through it and it's gonna get me through what, whatever it is.

00:51:34.847 --> 00:51:36.452
Yes, exactly, continuing.

00:51:36.532 --> 00:51:37.938
I mean it's it's going to get me through whatever it is.

00:51:37.958 --> 00:51:38.398
Yes exactly Continuing.

00:51:38.398 --> 00:51:40.485
I mean it's beautiful, it's amazing.

00:51:40.485 --> 00:51:42.349
I don't understand why nobody would want to read it.

00:51:42.349 --> 00:51:46.210
I mean it literally has any and everything that you need to know about.

00:51:46.210 --> 00:51:47.976
Like drama baby.

00:51:47.976 --> 00:51:49.721
It's right in that book, right?

00:51:49.860 --> 00:51:52.684
Wisdom proverbs just everything.

00:51:52.684 --> 00:51:55.047
Yes, but some people just aren't ready.

00:51:55.628 --> 00:51:56.108
Exactly.

00:51:56.369 --> 00:52:02.615
People just aren't ready to let go of that lifestyle, not knowing that we're not even here forever.

00:52:02.615 --> 00:52:04.324
We're just visitors.

00:52:04.324 --> 00:52:06.831
That's right, we're just visitors, let's see.

00:52:07.362 --> 00:52:08.226
He said that in John.

00:52:08.226 --> 00:52:10.166
That was one of the things that got marked on here.

00:52:10.166 --> 00:52:14.744
It said in John 3, 19,.

00:52:14.744 --> 00:52:15.706
This is the verdict.

00:52:15.706 --> 00:52:20.947
Light has come into the world, but people love darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.

00:52:20.947 --> 00:52:27.951
Everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed.

00:52:27.951 --> 00:52:35.992
But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light so that it may be plainly seen that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.

00:52:35.992 --> 00:52:37.764
It's one of my favorite ones.

00:52:37.764 --> 00:52:39.103
That's what I write on.

00:52:39.103 --> 00:52:39.706
That's it.

00:52:39.706 --> 00:52:42.623
Yes, ma'am, I absolutely.

00:52:42.623 --> 00:52:43.065
I love it.

00:52:44.099 --> 00:52:48.831
I just want us to continue hiding when that's what God gave me this for.

00:52:48.831 --> 00:52:53.851
You know you can and mine was trying to self-righteous.

00:52:53.851 --> 00:52:55.344
You know we all get it.

00:52:55.344 --> 00:53:02.384
I was this big minister and you know, going through my marriage dealing with my ex-husband.

00:53:02.384 --> 00:53:07.688
I mean trying to raise these kids and trying to be area manager.

00:53:08.768 --> 00:53:11.186
Yeah, I'm just trying to do everything and I thought me, me, me.

00:53:11.186 --> 00:53:12.005
But I knew God.

00:53:12.005 --> 00:53:21.106
But I also wanted to judge these people that I saw that weren't doing right and I wanted them to get it.

00:53:21.106 --> 00:53:22.427
So God showed me.

00:53:22.427 --> 00:53:28.362
You know, that was sin Whether people looked up to me and thought, oh, she's got it together.

00:53:28.362 --> 00:53:30.708
No, I didn't have it together.

00:53:30.708 --> 00:53:34.943
I had a whole mask on, just like everybody else.

00:53:35.143 --> 00:53:45.673
So once God brought me to my knees, let me have a stroke and broke me again and put me into a mental institution oh yeah, we all try to go there.

00:53:46.041 --> 00:53:48.407
Yes, ma'am oh my god he busted me out of there.

00:53:48.447 --> 00:53:54.184
Thank you, jesus, thank you lord it's just like okay, now do you get?

00:53:54.184 --> 00:53:57.887
Now it's just me and you, it's me and you.

00:53:57.887 --> 00:54:06.117
So I just love how someone can be transformed by the renewing of their mind, by God's renewing.

00:54:06.117 --> 00:54:10.831
God has to do it in order for it to happen, but you have to be willing to let him.

00:54:10.831 --> 00:54:14.043
Yes, ma'am, I am so.

00:54:14.043 --> 00:54:21.989
So, oh, I'm excited to have you here and I'm excited to have met you, and I know this isn't our last encounter.

00:54:22.239 --> 00:54:24.387
I know we are connected now.

00:54:24.387 --> 00:54:29.807
Yes, ma'am, we are connected and I want to be one to go with you.

00:54:29.807 --> 00:54:36.688
Me too, I want to hand out, I want to be with you as you go, as God is with us.

00:54:36.688 --> 00:54:46.286
Yes, ma'am, I know that's why God had you on here, because now we can target more than just Shreveport Bossier, but we can touch all over the world.

00:54:46.286 --> 00:55:01.472
Now, yes, ma'am, just for people to understand, it's okay to fall, it's okay to be in sin at that time, but when you're ready, when you're sick and tired Of being, where you are and sick and tired of falling.

00:55:01.672 --> 00:55:05.782
Yes, call on your daddy, that's it, and we can help.

00:55:05.782 --> 00:55:13.922
But you got to be willing to take the help, which that's another problem that I have, because and I'm sure you were the same way Because we're the ones that are supposed to have it all together.

00:55:13.922 --> 00:55:14.903
That's right.

00:55:14.903 --> 00:55:15.563
I love giving.

00:55:15.563 --> 00:55:18.228
Yes, I suck at receiving.

00:55:18.228 --> 00:55:21.512
I do because I'm like no, this is not the way it's supposed to be.

00:55:21.512 --> 00:55:24.956
I'm supposed to be helping you, and that's another thing that I like.

00:55:24.956 --> 00:55:32.217
Oh, I have my people that I'll walk in and check around my neighborhood.

00:55:32.217 --> 00:55:41.688
Sweet man, I had no idea how great his blessing was that day, because it's like you know, whenever you're so used to, well, not used to, I'm not used to failing, I don't like failing.

00:55:41.688 --> 00:55:50.563
So I guess that's another reason I was lost, and once I failed that hard, I literally gave everything I had into a relationship and it didn't work.

00:55:50.563 --> 00:55:53.110
It does something to you, I know you understand this.

00:55:53.170 --> 00:55:53.751
It changes you.

00:55:54.000 --> 00:55:58.449
Yes, it does Literally it rips your heart out and it feels like someone just shredded the pieces.

00:55:58.449 --> 00:56:04.032
Yes, ma'am, put it through a shredder, ran over it, threw up on it, yeah, ran over it some more.

00:56:04.032 --> 00:56:07.983
And then let a dog eat it, yeah, and then throw that back up and then let a fish, I mean.

00:56:07.983 --> 00:56:17.652
Then just go down the cycle, yes, so it's like I don't understand what to do, but just having a small win and was, let me tell you how small this was.

00:56:17.652 --> 00:56:20.268
So, mr Sammy, I love this man so much.

00:56:20.268 --> 00:56:29.367
His house is on the corner of like a four-way stop and you'll see him every morning, wave at you when you leave to go to work or wherever, and then wave at you whenever you come back in.

00:56:29.367 --> 00:56:31.322
And I asked him I'm like Mr Sammy, how long he goes?

00:56:31.322 --> 00:56:37.952
Well, a wave and a bless them on the way out and a bless them on the way back in which is also a scripture.

00:56:37.992 --> 00:56:38.974
I can't remember that right now.

00:56:38.974 --> 00:56:43.219
I'll have to write it down for you, but I want to say it's maybe in Deuteronomy, but I can't remember, but anyways.

00:56:43.219 --> 00:56:47.224
So I'm on walk and he's been through this journey with me also.

00:56:47.224 --> 00:56:49.907
He's, he's I mean, I've cried on, bless his heart.

00:56:49.907 --> 00:56:53.411
But he always likes to see me because he likes to see what I get into.

00:56:53.411 --> 00:56:57.275
So it's his stories on me.

00:56:57.275 --> 00:56:57.976
Lord, help us.

00:57:03.320 --> 00:57:16.065
So every morning he sits out there and, like I said, he greets and blesses everybody when they go in and when they come back, but he watches the squirrels and the birds and he gives them bird seed, of course, but he'll have peanuts and corn and that's what he does, is he just feeds God's nature right there.

00:57:16.065 --> 00:57:26.592
So I told him about this little, what I saw on Pinterest or Amazon or something, where it looked like a little picnic table and it had like a piece of corn where you put it on it, and I showed it to him Next thing.

00:57:26.592 --> 00:57:27.762
I know he'd ordered two of them.

00:57:27.762 --> 00:57:30.505
Well, it's not those, but it's a birdhouse.

00:57:30.505 --> 00:57:39.606
But it has like two little slots where they stand and then on the top of it it has two screws where you can put corn like you put the corn on the cob on there.

00:57:39.606 --> 00:57:42.619
All you had to do was follow the instructions.

00:57:42.619 --> 00:57:47.003
But just putting that together with him, yeah, it was a bonding moment.

00:57:47.503 --> 00:57:50.791
He has diabetes, I know, mr Sammy, I'm pretty sure he could do it.

00:57:50.791 --> 00:57:55.668
But it was one of those things where it's like I'm pretty sure that this is god testing both of us and just spending time.

00:57:55.668 --> 00:57:58.030
So he had all this stuff and he goes.

00:57:58.030 --> 00:58:01.032
Oh, okay, now flip it upside down.

00:58:01.032 --> 00:58:02.153
I just laughed.

00:58:02.153 --> 00:58:02.414
I go.

00:58:02.414 --> 00:58:03.554
Oh yeah, I forgot those last.

00:58:03.574 --> 00:58:05.135
I was wondering where those two screws went.

00:58:05.135 --> 00:58:05.416
He goes.

00:58:05.416 --> 00:58:07.702
I was wondering if you're gonna catch her or not.

00:58:07.702 --> 00:58:12.193
I was like you know, mr sammy, you think this is how god does with us?

00:58:12.193 --> 00:58:15.967
He goes yeah, probably so, and it's just like man.

00:58:15.967 --> 00:58:25.545
That's why, god, you know, men are some and that's what fathers are more laid back and sometimes, like mamas, we want to just strangle them because we're like why aren't you more worked up about this?

00:58:25.545 --> 00:58:29.742
And they're just like it's not that big of a deal.

00:58:29.742 --> 00:58:30.583
Why are you making?

00:58:30.583 --> 00:58:33.532
Why are you making a big mountain out of a molehill over here?

00:58:33.532 --> 00:58:44.813
So yeah, I'm like see, this is thank you God, Because we get all worked up and we deal with the here and the now and they're just looking at it, I guess, like a little further on.

00:58:44.813 --> 00:58:45.882
Just I don't know.

00:58:45.882 --> 00:58:47.197
Our minds are not the same.

00:58:47.197 --> 00:58:48.061
I don't know what they do.

00:58:48.523 --> 00:58:50.402
They look at it like, oh, they'll get it.

00:58:50.521 --> 00:58:51.523
Yes, exactly.

00:58:51.523 --> 00:58:52.865
Oh, it's, it's going to be okay.

00:58:52.865 --> 00:58:54.648
Right, let her mess up.

00:58:54.648 --> 00:58:57.114
Right, that's exactly, Exactly.

00:58:57.114 --> 00:59:04.507
No, but if you don't mess up, you don't Because that's yeah, that's right, because God can do literally everything.

00:59:04.507 --> 00:59:05.844
He does not need our help.

00:59:05.844 --> 00:59:08.648
But if he did everything, we wouldn't learn anything.

00:59:08.668 --> 00:59:09.190
You're right.

00:59:09.190 --> 00:59:11.101
Well, we thank you for letting us learn.

00:59:12.003 --> 00:59:17.150
Now, we do know how to screw some things up, but when we do we'll be like Daddy, I don't know what happened here.

00:59:17.150 --> 00:59:18.614
I'm going to give you all these pieces.

00:59:18.614 --> 00:59:23.324
I mean, I'm sorry, I did the best I could.

00:59:23.324 --> 00:59:25.108
I think, yeah, yeah, that's how good he is.

00:59:27.742 --> 00:59:28.407
I'm a good God.

00:59:28.407 --> 00:59:33.121
I'm thankful, I'm thankful.

00:59:33.463 --> 00:59:34.123
Yes, ma'am.

00:59:34.684 --> 00:59:37.085
So how much longer are you going to do this?

00:59:37.085 --> 00:59:39.047
When are you going to go back to work?

00:59:40.128 --> 00:59:40.708
I don't know.

00:59:40.708 --> 00:59:42.329
I guess I need to get back on there.

00:59:42.329 --> 00:59:43.110
That's why I was.

00:59:43.110 --> 00:59:49.134
I really hate y'all don't have no R&D slots open, like y'all just have the medical assistant.

00:59:49.134 --> 00:59:50.114
But I don't know.

00:59:50.114 --> 00:59:51.076
I need mom.

00:59:51.076 --> 00:59:54.400
Friendly jobs are very hard to come by, you're right.

00:59:54.400 --> 00:59:56.688
Honestly, I don't know where he's going to take this.

00:59:56.688 --> 00:59:57.371
I don't know.

00:59:57.371 --> 01:00:07.606
For the longest time I thought it was maybe into counseling or then into mission work, but then it's also we're disciples and we're learning and it's our job to witness for him.

01:00:07.606 --> 01:00:08.768
In whatever job that we do.

01:00:08.768 --> 01:00:09.972
That's a skill.

01:00:09.972 --> 01:00:15.702
I'm good at that job, so I know that that was one of the stepping stones, one of the building stones.

01:00:15.702 --> 01:00:17.362
Now I don't know what it's going to go into.

01:00:17.362 --> 01:00:19.423
I'm excited to see where.

01:00:20.625 --> 01:00:21.505
I'm excited too.

01:00:22.264 --> 01:00:23.585
Yeah, I don't know.

01:00:23.585 --> 01:00:33.170
But it's one of those things where I'm like okay, I know that you're in control of everything and I don't like not knowing what's going on is another part of my problem.

01:00:33.170 --> 01:00:38.072
A control freak, I guess, is you would say, a little bit, a bit.

01:00:38.072 --> 01:00:45.275
So this has been completely I'm all about spur of the moment, but then again I need to know what am I getting into so that I've got the supplies.

01:00:45.275 --> 01:00:47.657
I want to make sure I've got what I need.

01:00:48.016 --> 01:00:50.458
And God is saying, nope, have faith that I've got you.

01:00:50.538 --> 01:00:50.958
That's right.

01:00:50.958 --> 01:00:53.831
Everything's His.

01:00:53.831 --> 01:00:56.085
All you need is me.

01:00:56.106 --> 01:00:56.570
That's the lesson.

01:00:56.853 --> 01:01:01.840
That's right, it is Started with Abraham and.

01:01:01.840 --> 01:01:02.965
Isaac, didn't it Right?

01:01:03.900 --> 01:01:08.286
25 years later he said give back, give it back.

01:01:08.286 --> 01:01:11.206
I just got him.

01:01:11.206 --> 01:01:13.525
Can you imagine?

01:01:13.525 --> 01:01:16.724
I just got him.

01:01:16.724 --> 01:01:18.108
Give him back.

01:01:18.108 --> 01:01:18.831
Yes, ma'am.

01:01:18.831 --> 01:01:22.228
And then he's like I just wanted to see if you would be obedient.

01:01:22.409 --> 01:01:22.971
Yes, ma'am.

01:01:22.971 --> 01:01:25.527
So I know things are building up.

01:01:25.527 --> 01:01:31.427
I don't know what it is, but I'm like, I'm excited, and it's like a little kid, like a Christmas time where you see all the presents.

01:01:31.427 --> 01:01:33.052
I can feel it.

01:01:33.052 --> 01:01:34.726
I just can't see it yet.

01:01:34.726 --> 01:01:38.561
So that's where I'm at.

01:01:38.581 --> 01:01:39.722
I mean I know it's close, I can feel it.

01:01:39.742 --> 01:01:41.884
I know what you mean, so I'm just just rolling with it.

01:01:42.143 --> 01:01:42.585
I love it.

01:01:42.585 --> 01:01:44.110
It's gonna happen.

01:01:44.110 --> 01:01:47.965
It's gonna happen, whatever it is, I ain't gonna lie to you, not one bit.

01:01:48.425 --> 01:01:51.411
But you know, I know it's coming it's coming.

01:01:51.873 --> 01:01:56.730
Whatever it is, yes, ma'am, whatever it is, guys, I mean it couldn't just be him coming.

01:01:56.851 --> 01:01:59.498
Hey, you're right, daddy, let me right.

01:01:59.900 --> 01:02:06.373
You're right, you're right we could be at that point where you know what I've taken care of you already.

01:02:06.373 --> 01:02:08.619
Yes, ma'am, you got all you need.

01:02:08.619 --> 01:02:10.612
You witness as much as you can.

01:02:10.612 --> 01:02:12.760
Now come on come on, baby.

01:02:12.920 --> 01:02:13.362
that's right.

01:02:13.362 --> 01:02:14.164
I know that's what I'm like.

01:02:14.164 --> 01:02:15.489
What's my job, what am I doing?

01:02:15.489 --> 01:02:16.911
How much farther I got to go?

01:02:16.911 --> 01:02:20.201
Yes, ma'am, so that's far man.

01:02:20.201 --> 01:02:24.148
I don't know what I'm getting into after I get out of here, so we'll see.

01:02:28.233 --> 01:02:41.972
Oh wow, but I do know that when Jesus was telling about giving a dinner, not to give a dinner or any type of feeding anyone, where you go after the blind, the lame, pretty much anybody that can't provide for themselves, that's one thing.

01:02:41.972 --> 01:02:50.579
That Thanksgiving's coming up, if we're still here, god willing, or just in general, just to give somebody a meal that you already know that will not repay you.

01:02:50.579 --> 01:02:55.496
It's little stuff that you don't have to plan, you just have to do it.

01:02:55.496 --> 01:02:57.168
But that's one thing that I'm like.

01:02:57.168 --> 01:02:59.376
Okay, god, I know it's going to start getting colder soon.

01:02:59.376 --> 01:03:18.652
I know Thanksgiving's coming up, I know where some homeless people are and I'm going to get my mama involved because that one baby, she can cook and we may have to get some CPR after that, because she cooks with grease and she cooks with mama baby thank you, she don't play baby.

01:03:18.672 --> 01:03:21.367
There's going to be some butter and some bacon and some grease all up in that food.

01:03:21.367 --> 01:03:28.275
You know it's going to be good oh yeah but I'm like think how many folks we could feed.

01:03:28.275 --> 01:03:29.297
So that's one thing.

01:03:29.297 --> 01:03:32.295
I don't know how that's going to come together, but I know he's going to work it out.

01:03:33.144 --> 01:03:35.028
He's going to work it out, Baby.

01:03:35.068 --> 01:03:35.690
I know where you work.

01:03:35.690 --> 01:03:37.833
I'll be like hi, girl, Hi.

01:03:39.838 --> 01:03:41.119
That's right, he's going to work it out.

01:03:41.119 --> 01:03:43.873
Yes, ma'am, we have to put together a drive.

01:03:45.085 --> 01:03:52.771
He's going to work it out together a drive he's gonna work it out and like jackets, yeah just like oh, I'll have to get my scripture you?

01:03:52.771 --> 01:03:56.588
Yeah, jackets, I'll get my ideas done and jot them down, and it's not just here that people need that.

01:03:56.588 --> 01:04:04.431
That's all over yeah I mean, we don't have to go over to a different country, we got them right here in our backyard right.

01:04:04.612 --> 01:04:07.599
Start where you are, that's right and go from there.

01:04:08.849 --> 01:04:11.230
It's like, why focus on somebody else's scent, like the?

01:04:11.230 --> 01:04:13.018
Why am I gonna be looking at the pebble or the?

01:04:13.018 --> 01:04:30.688
The milk in your eye maybe I got a log cabin back at the house I need to get rid of like what let me make sure I got that cleaned up get my stuff together exactly but while I'm learning, I'm gonna teach you what I learned, so that you don't make the same mistake that I did.

01:04:30.809 --> 01:04:31.530
That's it.

01:04:31.530 --> 01:04:34.987
So that's that's where I'm at right now, and it's fun.

01:04:34.987 --> 01:04:42.373
It's painful but it's fun it's, and I know it's gonna be worth it it's gonna be worth it yes, ma'am your treasures that's right.

01:04:42.373 --> 01:04:44.726
You're like daddy, is my room, is my room ready?

01:04:44.726 --> 01:04:46.771
I don't even have to have a mansion, just give me a room.

01:04:47.695 --> 01:04:49.570
No, I'll take the back porch.

01:04:49.831 --> 01:04:53.387
Right, you got a dog house, because I know it's going to be amazing.

01:04:53.387 --> 01:04:54.710
Anyways, that's right.

01:04:54.710 --> 01:04:56.454
You got a cot, I'm ready.

01:04:56.454 --> 01:05:01.748
It is a van.

01:05:01.748 --> 01:05:02.954
I'll take that.

01:05:02.954 --> 01:05:05.985
I don't even know if he got a van up there.

01:05:05.985 --> 01:05:07.490
Maybe he'll go sleeping on some clouds.

01:05:07.791 --> 01:05:08.072
Right.

01:05:09.385 --> 01:05:10.427
We can get that uniform.

01:05:10.427 --> 01:05:11.427
You know what I'm saying?

01:05:11.427 --> 01:05:12.389
Oh, wow, yes.

01:05:12.489 --> 01:05:12.750
Get a.

01:05:12.769 --> 01:05:13.411
Care Bear stare.

01:05:13.411 --> 01:05:17.295
Give me a heart, that's it.

01:05:17.335 --> 01:05:18.378
That's right.

01:05:18.378 --> 01:05:22.289
Oh wow, this has been wonderful.

01:05:22.289 --> 01:05:23.110
It has.

01:05:23.110 --> 01:05:23.793
I like this.

01:05:23.793 --> 01:05:24.755
I like this a lot.

01:05:24.755 --> 01:05:26.329
I want you to come back.

01:05:26.329 --> 01:05:29.916
Okay, this is wonderful.

01:05:29.916 --> 01:05:31.911
Thank you so much for coming.

01:05:32.085 --> 01:05:35.108
Oh well, thank you for the invite oh my gosh, it was very pleasant.

01:05:35.108 --> 01:05:41.038
Yeah, pleasant, absolutely, and talking about daddy, that's it, that's it.

01:05:42.119 --> 01:05:42.800
That's it.

01:05:42.800 --> 01:05:50.398
Is there one or two things that you would tell someone that is in a situation like you?

01:05:52.385 --> 01:05:52.907
Don't give up.

01:05:52.907 --> 01:05:55.956
Your breakthrough is coming and stay in the word.

01:05:55.956 --> 01:06:10.969
If anything, open your Bible and read, and before you read, ask God to give you ears that are willing to hear the message from his heart and be receptive and obedient to it and ask for help.

01:06:10.969 --> 01:06:14.378
That's the biggest, if you were never meant to do this alone.

01:06:14.378 --> 01:06:25.351
The biggest step is first submitting to God's will, finding out more about him and his love, because there's nothing else in this world that will beat it.

01:06:25.351 --> 01:06:27.916
And then find a good church.

01:06:27.916 --> 01:06:33.755
And if you don't have one word of God, james McManus, baby, I love him and his family.

01:06:33.755 --> 01:06:34.478
They're awesome.

01:06:35.605 --> 01:06:38.291
Charles Stanley I called my spiritual father.

01:06:38.291 --> 01:06:41.317
He helped me through my worst parts.

01:06:41.317 --> 01:06:44.867
I know he is already with our heavenly father, but he has.

01:06:44.867 --> 01:06:53.534
There's something about his voice that's so calming and I can't even imagine how his son, andy, feels, because that's an amazing father, an amazing teacher.

01:06:53.534 --> 01:06:56.675
Yeah, but just start, just read.

01:06:56.675 --> 01:06:58.518
That's the best thing I can tell you to do.

01:06:58.518 --> 01:07:04.282
Well, the first thing is submitting and asking Jesus to come in your heart and he'll take you the rest of the way.

01:07:08.052 --> 01:07:09.896
You don't need nobody else but him.

01:07:09.896 --> 01:07:11.300
That's what I would tell him.

01:07:11.300 --> 01:07:12.003
That's good, that's perfect.

01:07:12.003 --> 01:07:12.403
It's the truth.

01:07:12.403 --> 01:07:14.853
It's perfect because that's how I got here.

01:07:16.246 --> 01:07:17.891
I bet that's probably how we all got here.

01:07:18.172 --> 01:07:18.472
Yeah.

01:07:19.394 --> 01:07:22.992
Yeah, united through the love of God, honey Through the love.

01:07:22.992 --> 01:07:25.889
Yes, ma'am, yes, jesus is the way.

01:07:31.804 --> 01:07:33.146
The truth and the light.

01:07:33.146 --> 01:07:33.987
Yes, ma'am, it's so good.

01:07:33.987 --> 01:07:39.976
I know it is, oh golly, I just, oh, my god, I'm just full.

01:07:39.976 --> 01:07:51.338
This is so good yes, ma'am, I know I love this just talk with someone that loves god the way you love him you can't beat it no no, I know what.

01:07:51.480 --> 01:07:56.096
I know the feeling, and not to feel like you have to put on a front, like you don't.

01:07:56.096 --> 01:07:58.449
You're just real and you know what they're saying.

01:07:58.449 --> 01:08:05.231
It's the truth because you lived it, you've been through it and you understand it yes, right, the world say real, recognize real.

01:08:05.592 --> 01:08:06.635
that's's right, it's real.

01:08:07.215 --> 01:08:09.440
Yes, ma'am yes.

01:08:09.826 --> 01:08:11.170
And maybe the struggle is real.

01:08:11.190 --> 01:08:23.192
Yes, it is it also helps knowing that somebody else is there with you in the fire, yes, but the most important thing is to know who's in the fire with you, because without him, baby, you will burn up.

01:08:23.192 --> 01:08:27.113
You will burn up and you will fail.

01:08:27.775 --> 01:08:29.585
And you will fail, and you will fail.

01:08:29.585 --> 01:08:32.872
Some of us have to try all over again.

01:08:32.993 --> 01:08:33.735
Over and over.

01:08:33.735 --> 01:08:36.212
But the most important thing is don't give up.

01:08:36.212 --> 01:08:38.371
Know that nobody's perfect.

01:08:38.371 --> 01:08:46.893
You're going to fall, but when you do fall, acknowledge what you did wrong and ask God to get you through it, learn the lesson and just keep going.

01:08:46.893 --> 01:08:47.225
I mean, that's life in a nutshell.

01:08:47.225 --> 01:08:48.627
That's life in a nutshell, yes, ma', what you did wrong and ask God to get you through it, learn the lesson and just keep going.

01:08:48.627 --> 01:08:49.712
Yeah, I mean, that's life in a nutshell.

01:08:50.305 --> 01:08:53.493
That's life in a nutshell yes, ma'am, that's it.

01:08:53.493 --> 01:08:56.469
Well, thank you so much for coming on.

01:08:56.469 --> 01:08:57.371
You want to say a prayer?

01:08:57.371 --> 01:09:00.960
No, I'll let you do that, okay.

01:09:00.960 --> 01:09:10.377
Thank you all so much for listening to another interview, another experience.

01:09:11.185 --> 01:09:18.572
Ms Carla has brought in so much love, light and the love of Christ with her, and it has truly blessed us.

01:09:18.572 --> 01:09:28.340
So we want you to be encouraged and inspired by her truth, her story and her transformation.

01:09:28.340 --> 01:09:37.972
As we pray for you, we ask that you just stand and believe that God has you and he wants you to silence the noise.

01:09:37.972 --> 01:09:51.185
So, heavenly Father, we thank you now for another day, another opportunity to just love, live and laugh and be in your glory and your grace.

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We ask that you forgive us, god, even when we can't forgive ourselves.

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We ask that you teach us to forgive ourselves.

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Forgive us for all the sins that we've committed unto you and unto others.

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Teach us how to forgive and forget, but not forget the lesson.

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Lord, we just thank you for your love and kindness.

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We ask that you come into our hearts, renew our minds, renew us and create a clean and right spirit, your spirit in us as we become new.

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Make us witnesses for you, for your glory.

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Make us stronger in you, lord, as only you can Teach us how to love again even the brokenhearted, as you heal us, god, help us to be seen by you, help those to see you in us as we love like you would love, as we would laugh like you would laugh, and we would cherish every moment as we're here, even going through the hard times.

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God, we just thank you For every moment, every lesson.

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We ask that you continue to cover, keep, protect and let your guardian angels surround us and place hugs on those that need them at this moment.

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We ask all of these things in your son, jesus' name.

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Amen, amen, amen, amen.

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Oh, I just I love you.

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I love you too.

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I love you.

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Oh God, if you are blessed by this episode at any point, I want to just take the time and just speak.

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God's incredible blessings over your life.

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I thank you so much for staying and listening and tuning in to this episode and I pray that your minds be renewed in Christ and your spirits are uplifted and you're feeling lighter and it's okay to love again.

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It's okay to stand on the word of God and move in faith and trust that everything that he promised belongs to you.

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Thank you so much for being a part of this episode.

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Thank you for allowing it to penetrate your heart and your mind, and I pray God transforms you and makes you new.

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Be blessed, walk in the favor of God, Know that you have dominion over every situation and every outcome.

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God bless you and we love you.

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Thank you.